RMM 2 Chinese Valencia 1

The goalkeeping comedy show continues

With RMMs 2 giant stand-in keepers engaged in a weekly contest on who can concede the most comical goal, it was no wonder that RMM hasn't kept a clean sheet in recent memory.

This week, 2nd choice stand-in keeper and reigning Master Of The Alternate Universe, Speedy took the honors in the comical goal conceded contest with a cock up that may never be topped. Ever.

Quick off the block, RMM looked to have set the tone for another cricket scoreline type of game when the veterans who a penalty as early as the 3rd minute. Batigol's previously undiscovered turn of pace led to a desperate trip on the star striker in the Chinese Valencia (CV) box.

The spot kick duty was then passed to Partyman Eddie based on RMMs aged based rotation policy. Unable to warm up his creaking bones on time, the Partyman sent this weak shot directly into an already prone CV keeper further adding to RMMs dismal record on penalties.

The veterans then had an immediate chance to take the lead when Mat Burit wriggled his way free from some close attention of 2 CV defenders before sending his shot wide when it looked easier to score.

RMM finally took the lead in the 15th minute when superstar striker Batigol again showed great pace and a clinical finishing to match.

The battle hardened continued to control the game and came close to extending the lead a few times and were never troubled on the other end with the only entertainment coming from a crooked neck Snake who somehow slithered one sided throughout the game.

In goal, stand-in keeper Shark decided to liven things up with some wayward kicking and in the process managed to get his own and a few team mate's blood boiling.

The 1 goal lead that RMM took into halftime was indeed a poor reflection of the game up until that point as the veterans were in full control with Mat Burit spurning a few more gilt edged chances.

The second half however proved to be a more even contest as RMMs played became disjointed due to the unusually large number of substitutions.

RMMs second half shot stopper, Speedy was called into action on several occasions early on and even managed to pull off a convincing save that Shark totally messed up last week.

With Speedy looking unusually rock steady between the post, RMM started to look dangerous again upfront. Guvnor came close to stretching RMMs lead with a diving header that went just wide.

RMMs persistence finally paid off when Blindman Poon embarked on one of his blinding runs on the left flank. Leaving 3 CV defenders on their arses despite their best efforts to hack his spindly legs off, the legally blind winger's sonar system was in full working order as he located with pin point accuracy the lurking Hardman Joe at the edge of the CV box. The now reformed but still hard Hardman then cooly slotted the ball home for a 2 goal RMM lead.

At this point, many RMMers were hoping that the floodgates will open for another high scoring encounter but CV refused to fold and hung in there. When the opportunity came, the CV's dead ball proponents showed that they had done their homework on Speedy by punting all sorts of shots at the giant.

That paid off finally for CV when they punted a 40 yard freekick directly into the middle of the RMM goal. Quick to react, Speedy ran past his left hand post to leap like a salmon before executing an air-kick to complete the motion. As the ball was bouncing into the net in the middle of the goal, Speedy's position was dubious to say the least.

With a comical consolation goal in their pocket, CV tried to mount a fightback but were lucky to escape further punishment from RMM when the twin turbo terrors of Flash That and Blundman Poon bore down towards the CV goal at top speed only for the Blindman to finish just wide.

The game ended at 2-1, which also ended the high scoring streak RMM has had over the past few months. The game however will be best remembered for Speedy's one man stand up comedy show.

Date: 18 July 2010

Venue: Padang Cochrane

Scorers: Batigol, Hardman Joe