With the mauling from Gatsby fresh in the mind of his players and a paper thin squad to contend with, the fixture man – Maniam - did Guvnor no favours by organising the rematch just 2 weeks after the initial thrashing.
With RMMs resident scousers taking a break to follow their heroes on their Asian tour, Guvnor pulled out all the stops to put together a starting 11. The life time president managed to convince Mat Burit to coax his long time sidekick and ex RMMer Zack, out of retirement.
This meant that RMM started the game without star striker Batigol and the ever reliable Speedy who doubles up as a wing wizard with Usain Bolt’s pace and a goalkeeper with Spiderman’s agility. In their place, RMM had an out of shape Zack who handn’t played in months filling in at right back. Big boots to fill indeed. So big in fact, that the returning RMMer actually bought a new pair of boots on the way to the game.
The inclusion of Zack and absence of Batigol also meant that Iceman was paired upfront with Mat Burit. Strongman Joe was partner with Guvnor in the middle of the park ensuring that RMM had a combative engine room.
As expected, RMM were under the kosh right from the start and within the opening 15 minutes, Shark playing in goal was already called into action on several occasions. Arriving late, the giant keeper never had time to warm up and this showed as his nervy handling of the ball was a constant menace to his own team.
This was not helped by the pressured applied by Gatsby who were winning many freekicks and throw ins in dangerous positions. Shark was first called into action when a direct freekick from Gatsby on the right swung over the wall directly into the goal. Luckily for the keeper, it was not far away from his body and he managed to palm it unconvincingly out for a corner. After a series of corners, the RMM defence were caught flat footed by a speculative Gatsby cross from the left. The ever alert Shark managed to rush of his line to push the ball away from an onrushing Gatsby striker for another corner.
Minutes later, the busy keeper was again called into action, this time by another freekick from the right. Still fumbling around, Shark managed to ‘volleyball’ the ball out for yet another corner.
All thru the half, the RMM midfield battled hard to keep the marauding Gatsby at bay. The frontline also did their part by holding on to whatever balls that were getting thru to them as much as possible. Chances were far and few between and the only one that fell to RMM was fluffed by Mat Burit who tried shooting on the run. Having run a half marathon in the morning, the returning striker was never going to have the energy to outrun a Gatsby player and produce a powerful shot all at one go.
At the back, Siyeh and OK Danny had a stirling game, never letting the concentration go down for a single minute. They managed to stay cool when needed and were putting their bodies on the line when it was required. On the right and left backs however, RMM were conceding possession. Giant Jason had a nervy 1st half on the left and was constantly giving the ball away, be it from wild clearances to silly throw ins. On the right, Zack discovered that he was definitely not 18 again and was completely knackered within the first 15 mins. To his credit, he soldiered on and was as solid as a knackered rightback can be. Zack also came closest to breaking the deadlock when he volleyed an inswinging cross from the Gatsby winger just over his own goal.
Keeper Shark had his busiest game in months and had to be on his toes throughout the half. Having to take goalkicking responsibilities himself, the keeper had an inconsistent afternoon with his feet as some of his kicks were better than his normal weak assed punts but some were even worse.When the halftime whistle came, one can hear the sigh of relief from the embattled RMMers from as far as PJ.
The second half carried the same pattern from the first with RMM defending stupendously. With Zack at the verge of collapse, the rightback was moved further up to help Mat Burit lead the line and to finish of his last legs. Red Devil Meng was then moved back to rightback to add some solidity in the backline. Iceman was also moved back to a familiar role in the middle of the park as well.
Guvnor then had a great opportunity to give RMM a shock lead when we was spotted by a quick thinking Iceman who floated an inch perfect freekick. The midfield hardman produced a powerful header directly into the Gatsby keeper. It surely would have hit the back of the net if the ball had gone a feet either way of the keeper.
Having had 1 half to warm up, Shark’s ball handling was much improved in the second adding even more confidence to RMMs defensive display. His goalkicks however, were still erratic to say the least.Wilting under the scorching sun, RMM defended deeper and deeper into their own half. However, unlike most other RMM games, the boys in defence kept their concentration.
Even Giant Jason who had a nightmarish 1st half improved on his player. This was by no means a flawless display though. Iceman wasn’t having his best game in the middle and gave away possession on several occasions.
Shark then almost embarrassed himself when he scuffed a clearance back to Guvnor who had just managed to battle his way thru a host of Gatsby players to play the ball to the keeper.
When Gatsby finally managed the breakthru the RMM backline, they were denied by the post. That attempt rebounded off the post safely into the feet of Red Devil Meng who was standing on the 6 yard line facing his own goal. The confused fullback to a full 30 secs to digest the situation and clear the ball. That stroke of luck gave RMM a boost in their confidence and they defended ever more manfully after that, confining Gatsby to speculative attempts from outside the box that were easily fielded by Shark.
RMM then almost grab a shock lead after some good work from best mates Mat Burit and Zack on the right resulting in Poon being clean thru for an on e on one with the Gatsby keeper. For unfortunately for RMM, the legally blind speedster found himself in unfamiliar territory and couldn't finish off the move.
When the final whistle came, one could not tell who was more relieved, the RMMers who had defended so stoutly or Gatsby who were frustrated throughout the whole afternoon. Given the squad and result from their previous meeting, the boys from RMM can rightly feel pleased with themselves.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
RMMs Red Day Out
Both teams lining up to shake hands with some fat boy
ManYoo starting 11
RMM Reds
Evra shows RMM defenders how it's done without the hands!
Nani finding the net
Berba beating the keeper but not the post Thursday, July 23, 2009
RMM1 Banana Boat 3
The running theme every week seems to be RMMs paper thin squad as yet again, RMM only managed to gather 11 players for the game and this included the much awaited return of the now rotund Mat Burit. A feared striker in his heydays, Mat Burit had together with Shark formed a deadly partnership in the mould of Andy Cole and Dwight Yorke in their prime. But not even the fastest strikers can outrun father time and both have now put on more weight and tattoos.
On the opposite end, their opponents, Banana Boat (aptly named after the kit colors) had a big squad of players and looked younger as well. All this did not bode well for RMM although RMM tried staying positive, they were on the backfoot not long after the start.
Shark was called in to make an early save and he could only parry the ball to an onrushing Banana Boat striker. The giant keeper then tried to recover the ball from the striker but in vain. Banana Boater cleverly sidefooted past the prone keeper before sliding the ball towards goal. Only a last ditch sliding recovery from Guvnor stopped RMM from going a goal down.
RMM never managed to get into rhythm as the Banana Boaters controlled the game from the middle of the park, comfortably playing the ball back and around their own goal areas when needed. Although Mat Burit showed some flashes of his old self, his added weight plus star man Batigol’s famous girth did nothing for RMMs forward line mobility.
At the back, Thong was doing his best to provide comic relief to the under siege RMM team by giving away a series of foul throws.
RMM were then inundated by a deluge of corners and found themselves a goal down as a result. Speedy had already cleared from the touchline whilst guarding the near post before Foo conceeded the goal on the far post from the subsequent corner. A Banana Boater lost his markers before powerfully heading downwards towards goal. Unfortunately for Foo, the ball hit his leg before hitting the roof of the net.
RMM spent the rest of the half chasing shadows and hoping to wind down the clock.
The 15 minutes break did RMM a world of good as the players caught a second wind. With the re-assuring presence of Speedy now in goal, RMM started to launch attacks direct from goal with Speedy’s fast, direct and pin point drop goal kicks. 1 of these launches from goal the resulted in RMMs equaliser. Such was the speed and accuracy of Speedy’s laser guiding launch, it evaded every Banana Boater from the middle of the park and it’s entire backline as well. Star man Batigol then displayed his world famous burst of speed to outpace the Banana Boat defence who were all at sea before easily slotting home.
1-1 and everyone thought it was game on. Unfortunately for RMMs small and ageing squad, their stamina had run out by
this stupendous effort and they were back chasing shadows again.
Guvnor and Iceman were gamely trying to close down the ever mobile Banana Boat playmakers and even the stranded Shark dropped down to the middle part of the field to try and get some possession. Both he and Mat Burit showed some glimpses of the understanding but this was just not their day.
RMM then went behind again for the second time in the game. Banana Boat started a run down the right and when their winger crossed to the near post, skinny Banana Boater was there to turn the cross in. In what must have been inspired by Peter Schmeichel’s famous ‘Starfish’ stance, Speedy did his own version called the ‘Reverse Starfish’ where he rushed out to confront the striker only to turn his back on the onrushing Banana Boater at the last minute. It was rumoured that he wanted to show his jersey number and name to the opponent to scare him off. Whatever it was he was trying to do, it didn’t work as the striker easily scored.
By then, RMM were thoroughly deflated but carried on gamely to search for the 2nd equaliser. Given their fitness levels, it left gaps at the back for the Banana Boaters to exploit. And exploit it they did as they manage a 3rd goal which looked suspiciously offside.
However, there was no argument on the final result was the small and unfit RMM squad was well beaten.
Given the situation, questions will be asked of where the previously large squad went and a recruitment drive may well be needed to bolster the squad.
On the opposite end, their opponents, Banana Boat (aptly named after the kit colors) had a big squad of players and looked younger as well. All this did not bode well for RMM although RMM tried staying positive, they were on the backfoot not long after the start.
Shark was called in to make an early save and he could only parry the ball to an onrushing Banana Boat striker. The giant keeper then tried to recover the ball from the striker but in vain. Banana Boater cleverly sidefooted past the prone keeper before sliding the ball towards goal. Only a last ditch sliding recovery from Guvnor stopped RMM from going a goal down.
RMM never managed to get into rhythm as the Banana Boaters controlled the game from the middle of the park, comfortably playing the ball back and around their own goal areas when needed. Although Mat Burit showed some flashes of his old self, his added weight plus star man Batigol’s famous girth did nothing for RMMs forward line mobility.
At the back, Thong was doing his best to provide comic relief to the under siege RMM team by giving away a series of foul throws.
RMM were then inundated by a deluge of corners and found themselves a goal down as a result. Speedy had already cleared from the touchline whilst guarding the near post before Foo conceeded the goal on the far post from the subsequent corner. A Banana Boater lost his markers before powerfully heading downwards towards goal. Unfortunately for Foo, the ball hit his leg before hitting the roof of the net.
RMM spent the rest of the half chasing shadows and hoping to wind down the clock.
The 15 minutes break did RMM a world of good as the players caught a second wind. With the re-assuring presence of Speedy now in goal, RMM started to launch attacks direct from goal with Speedy’s fast, direct and pin point drop goal kicks. 1 of these launches from goal the resulted in RMMs equaliser. Such was the speed and accuracy of Speedy’s laser guiding launch, it evaded every Banana Boater from the middle of the park and it’s entire backline as well. Star man Batigol then displayed his world famous burst of speed to outpace the Banana Boat defence who were all at sea before easily slotting home.
1-1 and everyone thought it was game on. Unfortunately for RMMs small and ageing squad, their stamina had run out by
this stupendous effort and they were back chasing shadows again.
Guvnor and Iceman were gamely trying to close down the ever mobile Banana Boat playmakers and even the stranded Shark dropped down to the middle part of the field to try and get some possession. Both he and Mat Burit showed some glimpses of the understanding but this was just not their day.
RMM then went behind again for the second time in the game. Banana Boat started a run down the right and when their winger crossed to the near post, skinny Banana Boater was there to turn the cross in. In what must have been inspired by Peter Schmeichel’s famous ‘Starfish’ stance, Speedy did his own version called the ‘Reverse Starfish’ where he rushed out to confront the striker only to turn his back on the onrushing Banana Boater at the last minute. It was rumoured that he wanted to show his jersey number and name to the opponent to scare him off. Whatever it was he was trying to do, it didn’t work as the striker easily scored.
By then, RMM were thoroughly deflated but carried on gamely to search for the 2nd equaliser. Given their fitness levels, it left gaps at the back for the Banana Boaters to exploit. And exploit it they did as they manage a 3rd goal which looked suspiciously offside.
However, there was no argument on the final result was the small and unfit RMM squad was well beaten.
Given the situation, questions will be asked of where the previously large squad went and a recruitment drive may well be needed to bolster the squad.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
RMM 0 Gatsby 6
As the author was not present at match due to illness, the various reports that was gathered were rather sketchy. However, what was indisputable was that RMMs squad was again paper thin with only 11 players turning up and that the 11 players were decimated by Gatsby.
The other worrying aspect of the game was the open and brazen verbal abuse hurled at team captain Iceman by certain players. Tired and disillusioned by the abuse and lack of respect, Iceman revealed in the post game interview that he was ready to step down as team captain.
The 2 main take outs from the game that would worry the RMM management is the size of the squad and the discipline of some the players.
The only positive from the weekend was the comeback of Party Organiser Eddie Ee who has recovered from his broken knee. Unfortunately for the partyman, it was a return to forget.
It looks like life time President Guvnor has his work cut out for him…
The other worrying aspect of the game was the open and brazen verbal abuse hurled at team captain Iceman by certain players. Tired and disillusioned by the abuse and lack of respect, Iceman revealed in the post game interview that he was ready to step down as team captain.
The 2 main take outs from the game that would worry the RMM management is the size of the squad and the discipline of some the players.
The only positive from the weekend was the comeback of Party Organiser Eddie Ee who has recovered from his broken knee. Unfortunately for the partyman, it was a return to forget.
It looks like life time President Guvnor has his work cut out for him…
Friday, July 10, 2009
RMM 2 Chinese Chelsea 1
Scorers: Guvnor, Bengkoh
Squad: Shark, Snake, Jason Yap, Danny, Siyeh, Joe, Guvnor, Meng, Speedie, Iceman, Bengkoh, Thong
The man behind the fixtures was at it again. Just a week after matching up RMM with KUNT Team twice in less than a month, the boys of RMM were matched up against Chinese Chelsea again for the second time in a matter of weeks.
This however was a welcomed rematch as RMM wanted to avenge their recent embrassing defeat to Chinese Chelsea.
The RMM squad again looked paper thin with only 12 players turning up. With the likes of Foo, Flash That, TyPhoon and Superstar Batigol were missing, RMM lost a lot of speed and looked very lightweight (literally) in attack.
Without a recognised striker in the starting lineup, Bengkoh and Iceman were the obvious choice to start upfront. RMM took control of the game right from the start and the makeshift strikeforce did a pretty good job as they linked up well and threatened to score early on with some decent efforts but the Chinese Chelsea’s 96 years old keeper was up to the task. Bengkoh could have had a hattrick but had one well saved, fluffed another and one ruled out for offside. Chances were being created at will but some poor finishing kept the score at 0-0.
Over the many decades of playing, RMM has not had many good friends with match officials and it almost cost us on this day. The ref obviously had some negative feelings towards RMM as he made some outrageous decisions left most players bewildered. The most scandalous moment came when Iceman's inswinging corner towards the far post found the unmarked Guvnor who looked certain to score but the ball was deflected away from him at the last minute by a swinging Chinese Chelsea elbow. The handball could be clearly seen from all 4 corners of the pitch but the ref failed to award a penalty.
A very bored Shark in goal then tried to entertain himself with some goalmouth action by giving away possession near the penalty box. He deservedly got an earful from Guvnor as Chelsea happily held on to 0-0 at halftime.
Despite only 1 sub, Guvnor rang the changes again as Shark partnered Bengkoh in attack, Iceman went back to midfield and Joe was fielded in an unfamiliar left sided role. The changes almost paid off immediately as Iceman skilfully got around the Chelsea midfield and played lovely behind the defence. The ball fell invitingly for Shark whose attempt somehow flicked off the keeper's foot for a fruitless corner. Moments later, Shark once again failed to capitalise on another piece of magic from Iceman. This time Iceman cleverly flicked Snake's long throw into the box and found Shark unmarked but instead of taking a shot at goal, the giant striker somehow chose to head the ball which was knee height. Needless to say, he failed to make a clean connection.
The second half mirrored the 1st as RMM continued to attack relentlessly but unable to find the back of the net until Guvnor decided to take matters in his own hands. The marauding Snake pushing forward at every opportunity finally delivered a decent cross into the box which Guvnor who made up lots of ground to head past the keeper at the near post. 1-0 accompanied by a huge sigh of relief.
Minutes later, it was 2-0 when Shark broke free on the left and delivered a stunning cross (by his standards) to Joe whose header hit a surprised onrushing Bengkoh on his heels before trickling into the net. The skillful part time pilot claimed that it was the result of one of his legendary FFK step overs.
RMM defence began its weekly self destruction act again after the 2nd goal. The defence looked nervous and Danny was first to blink when he totally misjudged a bouncing ball and left the Chelsea striker a clear run at goal. The striker happily accepted the gift and fired past the helpless Speedie in goal to make it 2-1.
Towards the end, RMM were pegged back as the biased ref continued awarding Chelsea mysterious freekicks in dangerous areas.
RMM held on for a 2-1 win after another unconvincing display in defence.
report courtesy of iceman with shark slicing and dicing....
Squad: Shark, Snake, Jason Yap, Danny, Siyeh, Joe, Guvnor, Meng, Speedie, Iceman, Bengkoh, Thong
The man behind the fixtures was at it again. Just a week after matching up RMM with KUNT Team twice in less than a month, the boys of RMM were matched up against Chinese Chelsea again for the second time in a matter of weeks.
This however was a welcomed rematch as RMM wanted to avenge their recent embrassing defeat to Chinese Chelsea.
The RMM squad again looked paper thin with only 12 players turning up. With the likes of Foo, Flash That, TyPhoon and Superstar Batigol were missing, RMM lost a lot of speed and looked very lightweight (literally) in attack.
Without a recognised striker in the starting lineup, Bengkoh and Iceman were the obvious choice to start upfront. RMM took control of the game right from the start and the makeshift strikeforce did a pretty good job as they linked up well and threatened to score early on with some decent efforts but the Chinese Chelsea’s 96 years old keeper was up to the task. Bengkoh could have had a hattrick but had one well saved, fluffed another and one ruled out for offside. Chances were being created at will but some poor finishing kept the score at 0-0.
Over the many decades of playing, RMM has not had many good friends with match officials and it almost cost us on this day. The ref obviously had some negative feelings towards RMM as he made some outrageous decisions left most players bewildered. The most scandalous moment came when Iceman's inswinging corner towards the far post found the unmarked Guvnor who looked certain to score but the ball was deflected away from him at the last minute by a swinging Chinese Chelsea elbow. The handball could be clearly seen from all 4 corners of the pitch but the ref failed to award a penalty.
A very bored Shark in goal then tried to entertain himself with some goalmouth action by giving away possession near the penalty box. He deservedly got an earful from Guvnor as Chelsea happily held on to 0-0 at halftime.
Despite only 1 sub, Guvnor rang the changes again as Shark partnered Bengkoh in attack, Iceman went back to midfield and Joe was fielded in an unfamiliar left sided role. The changes almost paid off immediately as Iceman skilfully got around the Chelsea midfield and played lovely behind the defence. The ball fell invitingly for Shark whose attempt somehow flicked off the keeper's foot for a fruitless corner. Moments later, Shark once again failed to capitalise on another piece of magic from Iceman. This time Iceman cleverly flicked Snake's long throw into the box and found Shark unmarked but instead of taking a shot at goal, the giant striker somehow chose to head the ball which was knee height. Needless to say, he failed to make a clean connection.
The second half mirrored the 1st as RMM continued to attack relentlessly but unable to find the back of the net until Guvnor decided to take matters in his own hands. The marauding Snake pushing forward at every opportunity finally delivered a decent cross into the box which Guvnor who made up lots of ground to head past the keeper at the near post. 1-0 accompanied by a huge sigh of relief.
Minutes later, it was 2-0 when Shark broke free on the left and delivered a stunning cross (by his standards) to Joe whose header hit a surprised onrushing Bengkoh on his heels before trickling into the net. The skillful part time pilot claimed that it was the result of one of his legendary FFK step overs.
RMM defence began its weekly self destruction act again after the 2nd goal. The defence looked nervous and Danny was first to blink when he totally misjudged a bouncing ball and left the Chelsea striker a clear run at goal. The striker happily accepted the gift and fired past the helpless Speedie in goal to make it 2-1.
Towards the end, RMM were pegged back as the biased ref continued awarding Chelsea mysterious freekicks in dangerous areas.
RMM held on for a 2-1 win after another unconvincing display in defence.
report courtesy of iceman with shark slicing and dicing....
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Missing or slow match reports
Apologies to all, the reports have been slow to come in over the past 2 weeks as the author is snowed under by his day job. WIll hopefully be back in the groove soon.
For those who wish to contribute their own pieces can send it to my email and I can either print it verbatim or slice and dice it the way I would write it.
Alternatively, you can also send me your observations of the game in bullet points and I'll add meat to it.
For those who wish to contribute their own pieces can send it to my email and I can either print it verbatim or slice and dice it the way I would write it.
Alternatively, you can also send me your observations of the game in bullet points and I'll add meat to it.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
RMM 2 KUNT Team 1
Scorers: Guvnor(pen), Flash.
Squad: Shark, Red Devil Meng, Jason Yap, Siyeh, BengKoh Iceman, Guvnor, Typhoon, Speedie, Flash, Batigol, NOS Thong, Red Card Joe.
This was in truth a rematch that was scheduled too soon. Fresh from their meek surrender to RMM a few weeks back, KUNT Team reverted back to type a showed everyone why they were named like a team full of KUNTs.
With a few of their main KUNTs back in the starting line up, they started the match aggressively. On the other end, the lackadaisical attitude of RMM players meant that they failed to warm up properly and started the game way off pace. RMM were soon made to pay for it when KUNT Team's main striker BO Man was found all alone on the right by a diagonal ball. With the RMM defence asleep and keeper Shark in no man's land, BO Man easily lobbed the ball over RMMs giant keeper. 0-1 to the KUNTs.
The early goal then woke RMM and they began to put in more hard tackles to regain control in the middle of the park. The game then started turning ugly as KUNT players were unable to cope with the same aggression they had been dishing out. The moaning and verbal abuse to match officials started. The aggressive play coupled with foul language resulted in several yellow cards to both teams with Flash That and the normally cool Iceman being booked for RMM.
RMM continued to press forward looking for the equaliser and Speedie came close with a solo effort but saw his well struck shot superbly saved for a fruitless corner. The number of corner kicks continue to rise and RMM were finally rewarded when the referee spotted a KUNT player having his arms all over the superstar Batigol and immediately pointed to the spot. Batigol's acting lessons was finally paying off.
As it was the eve of Guvnor's birthday, Iceman stepped aside for him to take the spotkick. Guvnor then proceeded to stroke the ball right down the middle. An audible gasp was heard throughout the field from RMM players as KUNT Team's keeper looked like he had easily collected the ball. With most of RMM turning away expecting a goalkick, it was indeed a shock when shouts of 'Goal!' was heard. Somehow, the KUNT keeper had done a Taibi. 1 - 1 and back in the game.
KUNT team seemed happy to see out the 1st half at 1-1, but RMM had other ideas. Some slick passing at the back saw the underrated Siyeh played an inch perfect ball to Flash That, who timed his run to perfection and superbly lobbed the onrushing keeper to put RMM in front. Both the keeper and That were injured in the collision as the referee instantly blew for halftime.RMM had taken the lead but had to pay a heavy price as Flash That failed to appear for the second half.
Guvnor made some changes during halftime which also witnessed the return of Joe from his 3 match ban resulting from his sending off in the Chinese Chelsea game. Shark again lined up alongside Batigol in attack and Speedie was exiled between the posts.
Second half started with more scrappy play in the middle and RMM came close on a few occasions to add to the scoreline but again the final ball was disappointing.
Some sloppy play at the back from NOS or better known as "High" Thong nearly gifted the KUNTs an equalizer but he recovered just in time to win the ball. There was hint of some shirt grabbing by NOS which the ref failed to notice. The result was a very furious Spiky Haired striker who threw a wild punch at NOSs face. Maybe it was the fact that he's permanently stoned or maybe it's because of his Muay Thai training, NOS didn't even notice he was punched.
This was the first sign of the referees losing control of the game. As if arriving late and having one man short is not enough, this particular referee also showed that he was probably one (or maybe even 2) testicle short as well. He failed to show the Spiky Haired KUNT any cards for the punch, knowing that the KUNT player is already on a yellow.
The game then started to descent down a slippery slope as both teams started to kick lumps out of each other.The final straw came when Guvnor tried taking out Midget KUNT striker who was waltzing through the RMM defence. Despite heavy contact from Guvnor, Midget Kunt stayed on his feet and was through on goal.
For reasons only known to him, the ref blew for a foul outside the box instead. The little troll predictably lost the plot and started berating the referee in troll speak. The referee, who actually understands swear words in troll speak did not have the testicular fortitude to do anything about it. The angered troll continued swearing at the testicularly challenged referee for what seems like eternity.
The referee finally had enough of the verbal abuse and walked off sobbing like a little girl. If his mummy was there, he would have hidden behind her skirt for sure.
In one of modern day's greatest miracles, Mr cry baby ref suddenly found his missing testicles in the carpark and proceeded to challenge the angry troll to a Smackdown, WWE style. Standing behind the fencing, he hurled challenge after challenge to the Midget Kunt. The only thing missing was a micro phone, 'entrance' themed music and some pyrotechnics.
The remaining referee then decided to sensibly call off the match with the score at 2-1 in RMMs favour. In the end, whilst RMM was the official winner, there were no winners as players from both teams were deprived of a full game that they had eagerly waited for throughout the week.
If only the KUNTs were not KUNTs and the referee had a testicle.....
Report provided by Iceman and sliced and diced by Shark....
Squad: Shark, Red Devil Meng, Jason Yap, Siyeh, BengKoh Iceman, Guvnor, Typhoon, Speedie, Flash, Batigol, NOS Thong, Red Card Joe.
This was in truth a rematch that was scheduled too soon. Fresh from their meek surrender to RMM a few weeks back, KUNT Team reverted back to type a showed everyone why they were named like a team full of KUNTs.
With a few of their main KUNTs back in the starting line up, they started the match aggressively. On the other end, the lackadaisical attitude of RMM players meant that they failed to warm up properly and started the game way off pace. RMM were soon made to pay for it when KUNT Team's main striker BO Man was found all alone on the right by a diagonal ball. With the RMM defence asleep and keeper Shark in no man's land, BO Man easily lobbed the ball over RMMs giant keeper. 0-1 to the KUNTs.
The early goal then woke RMM and they began to put in more hard tackles to regain control in the middle of the park. The game then started turning ugly as KUNT players were unable to cope with the same aggression they had been dishing out. The moaning and verbal abuse to match officials started. The aggressive play coupled with foul language resulted in several yellow cards to both teams with Flash That and the normally cool Iceman being booked for RMM.
RMM continued to press forward looking for the equaliser and Speedie came close with a solo effort but saw his well struck shot superbly saved for a fruitless corner. The number of corner kicks continue to rise and RMM were finally rewarded when the referee spotted a KUNT player having his arms all over the superstar Batigol and immediately pointed to the spot. Batigol's acting lessons was finally paying off.
As it was the eve of Guvnor's birthday, Iceman stepped aside for him to take the spotkick. Guvnor then proceeded to stroke the ball right down the middle. An audible gasp was heard throughout the field from RMM players as KUNT Team's keeper looked like he had easily collected the ball. With most of RMM turning away expecting a goalkick, it was indeed a shock when shouts of 'Goal!' was heard. Somehow, the KUNT keeper had done a Taibi. 1 - 1 and back in the game.
KUNT team seemed happy to see out the 1st half at 1-1, but RMM had other ideas. Some slick passing at the back saw the underrated Siyeh played an inch perfect ball to Flash That, who timed his run to perfection and superbly lobbed the onrushing keeper to put RMM in front. Both the keeper and That were injured in the collision as the referee instantly blew for halftime.RMM had taken the lead but had to pay a heavy price as Flash That failed to appear for the second half.
Guvnor made some changes during halftime which also witnessed the return of Joe from his 3 match ban resulting from his sending off in the Chinese Chelsea game. Shark again lined up alongside Batigol in attack and Speedie was exiled between the posts.
Second half started with more scrappy play in the middle and RMM came close on a few occasions to add to the scoreline but again the final ball was disappointing.
Some sloppy play at the back from NOS or better known as "High" Thong nearly gifted the KUNTs an equalizer but he recovered just in time to win the ball. There was hint of some shirt grabbing by NOS which the ref failed to notice. The result was a very furious Spiky Haired striker who threw a wild punch at NOSs face. Maybe it was the fact that he's permanently stoned or maybe it's because of his Muay Thai training, NOS didn't even notice he was punched.
This was the first sign of the referees losing control of the game. As if arriving late and having one man short is not enough, this particular referee also showed that he was probably one (or maybe even 2) testicle short as well. He failed to show the Spiky Haired KUNT any cards for the punch, knowing that the KUNT player is already on a yellow.
The game then started to descent down a slippery slope as both teams started to kick lumps out of each other.The final straw came when Guvnor tried taking out Midget KUNT striker who was waltzing through the RMM defence. Despite heavy contact from Guvnor, Midget Kunt stayed on his feet and was through on goal.
For reasons only known to him, the ref blew for a foul outside the box instead. The little troll predictably lost the plot and started berating the referee in troll speak. The referee, who actually understands swear words in troll speak did not have the testicular fortitude to do anything about it. The angered troll continued swearing at the testicularly challenged referee for what seems like eternity.
The referee finally had enough of the verbal abuse and walked off sobbing like a little girl. If his mummy was there, he would have hidden behind her skirt for sure.
In one of modern day's greatest miracles, Mr cry baby ref suddenly found his missing testicles in the carpark and proceeded to challenge the angry troll to a Smackdown, WWE style. Standing behind the fencing, he hurled challenge after challenge to the Midget Kunt. The only thing missing was a micro phone, 'entrance' themed music and some pyrotechnics.
The remaining referee then decided to sensibly call off the match with the score at 2-1 in RMMs favour. In the end, whilst RMM was the official winner, there were no winners as players from both teams were deprived of a full game that they had eagerly waited for throughout the week.
If only the KUNTs were not KUNTs and the referee had a testicle.....
Report provided by Iceman and sliced and diced by Shark....
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