Wednesday, March 24, 2010

RMM 2 Sunday Cowboys 5

A SORRY TALE OF 2 MISSED PENALTIES

It what looked to be an easy tie, the veterans of RMM conspired to conjure a spectacle of missed chances and goalmouth blunders that led to a spectacular collapse in the second half. The result was a humiliating defeat of epic proportions.

In the midst of all the missed opportunities were 2 missed penalties on each half of the game.

The first came early in the game when RMM won a penalty when Flash That’s flying run was brought to an abrupt end by a SC defender by illegal means.

Off came Red Devil Meng from the bench to fulfill his penalty duties as decreed by RMMs Life Time President, Guvnor’s latest Declaration On Penalty Taking Duties.

Unfortunately for the officially oldest player in RMM, sitting on the bench on a windy Sunday afternoon stiffens the joints of the more ‘mature’ players. The nervous and stiff Red Devil Meng then proceeded to smash the ball well wide of SCs goal.

RMM were then made to pay minutes later from Sunday Cowboy’s (SC) first meaningful attack.

RMMs Partyman Eddie decision to punt the ball back into the middle instead of clearing into touch after chasing the ball down the left was as baffling as it was costly. The ball landed right on SCs playmaker who chested it down before thundering a looping shot past the stranded Shark in goal.

RMM then responded by taking the game to SC. Off 1 of the resulting corners, RMMs midfield hardman and aerial specialist, Guvnor powered in yet another header for RMMs equalizer. This was Guvnor’s 7th goal of the season.

The rejuvenated RMM then took the lead when RMMs top scorer, Superstar Batigol cushioned a beautifully lofted cross onto the path of the on-rushing Iceman who produced a spectacular first time shot that ended at the back of SCs net.

2-1 and RMM bossed the rest of the half, going into the break reasonably pleased with the scoreline unaware that the second half will bring a shocking reversal of fortunes.

4 goals in quick succession not long after the restart all but killed the game for RMM.

The 1st came when a SC striker walked past 5 static and decidely sleepy defenders before slotting the ball home coolly to equalize.

The 2nd came not long after when stand-in keeper to RMMs stand-in keeper Speedy managed to stick one of his long legs out to stop a near post attempt by SCs strikers. Unfortunately for RMMs tallest keeper, the ball looped up weakly and directly into the path of the on-rushing SC striker to head home into an empty net.

SC then made the score 4-2 with their 3rd of the half when their right winger drove in a dangerous low ball into RMMs six yard box. With the RMM defense back pedaling and Speedy turning his head the opposite direction to protect his handsome his face, the on-rushing SC striker easily slotted home.

In between, RMMs strikers and midfielders had their chances but were unable to find the target with Guvnor, Shark, Batigol and Iceman all coming close.

SCs 5th then came courtesy of their playmaker’s speculative 45 yard lob that caught Speedy off guard, easily sailing over the giant’s head (and handsome face).

Mat Burit then earned RMM a second penalty of the day when he was crudely brought down by the on rushing SC keeper.

With penalty duty now firmly at the feet of Speedy, the second oldest player in RMM, it was left to the Master Of The Alternate Universe to nail in the final insult of the day by weakly punting the attempt almost directly at the SC keeper.

Post game, the grim mood of RMMers in the dressing room turned to horror / disbelief when Speedy started to give his account of his game from the Alternative Universe’s point of view.

Whichever way one looked at it from whatever Universe, the score remained the same though…. an embarrassing 5-2 loss for the mighty RMM



Venue: Kelab Sultan Sulaiman

Starting Line Up: Shark, Titan, SiYeh, Partyman Eddie, Singapore Sling Danny, Guvnor, Iceman, Speedy, Blindman Poon, Batigol, Flash That

Subs: Mat Burit, Red Devil Meng, Aeroplane Beng Koh,

Scorers: Guvnor, Iceman

10 comments:

Guvnor Chen said...

March is proving to be a difficult month for RMM, but watching the missed penalties have been kind of funny. What are the odds that we'll have more misses than goals at the end of the penalty taking cycle? Right now, it's 2 - 0 against! Next in line for the 12 yarders are Si Yeh, Partyman Eddie, Aeroplane Beng Koh, Titan Yap and S'pore Sling. Looks like a potential few "misses" there to me.

Meng said...

the report on my penalty kick miss is NOT dramatic enough.... l blew the ball 10ft high above the bar and 10ft away from the post !! Well, now at least every time l watch on TV someone taking penalty kick, l will remind myself of my amazing miss...and also, now l have a "great" experience to tell the football kids and nephews...thanks for the memories....ho ho ho....

As far as the match goes... we crumbled in the 2nd half..l thought this was a game of 2 halves for us... we controlled the 1st half and look more threatening...but the 2nd half, we just lost the momentum...

Anonymous said...

You win some, you lose some. What can I say that hasn't been said before!

Just hold up your heads in the next game and soldier on!

Cheers

Coach

Guvnor Chen said...

Correction, Meng. You let the liverstool supporter psyche you into blasting the ball high and wide. You really really should have known better than to listen to the Master of the Alternate Universe teach you the art of the 12 yarder.
Did you notice that he took his own penalty different from what he told you to do?.......although the result was no better.
Nevermind, with our exciting brand of attacking football, your chance on the penalty duty will come soon enough.

meng said...

you are right chen... my loserpool penalty coach kicked his penalty differently...and now l recall...he pointed to his boots how and where l should kick the ball...damn it...got conned ! Well, we got to 'train' That and Poon to fall more often in side the box so that penalty kick cycle will come back to me faster...AND THIS time l will be smarter to train with the right Red team mate !..

Shark11 said...

U need to remember that he is the Master Of The Alternative Universe. Hence any advise from him will need to be taken with buckets of salts and also you need to ask him in which universe does his advise apply in first before you take it...

butterpillar said...

I think it's time for a PARTY!!!! Nothing like a couple (or more) drinks and some rowdy dance moves to spice up some team spirit!

Anonymous said...

Meng, Meng, Meng!!!

You should only get statistics info from the Master of the Alternate Universe (MAU) and NOTHING ELSE!!!

hahahaha

Coach

El Loco said...

Did somebody shout PARTEE? I'm IN...

Batigol said...

Whatever it is.....I want a rematch against this team. This is one team RMM should squashed underneath easily. Sorry for my lost of form on the day. It's just one of those days....

As for my fellow Scouser from the Alternate Universe, I have one word of advice, "Just shut your hole after a bad game as everybody is fucking down n some mindless babbling and pathetic self defence is not what is needed. We all know how much Arsene Wenger is hated so dun be one."

Thank you....

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