Flying Start
RMMs Kwang Tung Cup campaign started with a brilliant win over Cheras FC. With the strikers banging in the goals and Shark bang on form in goal, it was a perfect start the campaign in which RMM needed only 2 wins in their group to advance to the semis. 1 down and just 1 more win needed.
Date: 24 October 2010
Venue: Kem Kantomen
Scorers: Blindman Poon x 2, Speedy, Flash That
Friday, November 19, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
RMM 4 Chinese Chelsea 2
Routine Victory
Despite some early setbacks, it was ultimately another routine victory for the veterans of RMM against their arch nemesis Chinese Chelski.
Date: 10 October 2010
Venue: Sekolah Menegah Cochare
Scorers: Anyone has any clues!?
Despite some early setbacks, it was ultimately another routine victory for the veterans of RMM against their arch nemesis Chinese Chelski.
Date: 10 October 2010
Venue: Sekolah Menegah Cochare
Scorers: Anyone has any clues!?
RMM 8 Seoul FC 1
Another Korean BBQ
In another game pitting the battle hardened veterans of RMM against the pimpled face teenagers of Seoul FC, once again it was experience that won the day.. and experience won big again.
Not known for their soft hearts, RMM went straight for the jugular and did not let up until the final whistle, ensuring another big victory to add the everyone's individual tallies in the process.
Date: 3rd October 2010
Venue: Kelab Sultan Sulaiman
Scorers: Would appreciate if anyone can help fill this in!
In another game pitting the battle hardened veterans of RMM against the pimpled face teenagers of Seoul FC, once again it was experience that won the day.. and experience won big again.
Not known for their soft hearts, RMM went straight for the jugular and did not let up until the final whistle, ensuring another big victory to add the everyone's individual tallies in the process.
Date: 3rd October 2010
Venue: Kelab Sultan Sulaiman
Scorers: Would appreciate if anyone can help fill this in!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
RMM 3 Desa Hartamas FC 2
Controversy Reigns
Due to a technical glitch in Mysterious Maniam’s fixture computer, the return leg of this game was played much earlier than anticipated.
With none of their celebrity players in their line up, Desa Hartamas FC (DHFC) were actually a stronger side. That however did not deter RMM as the veterans once again got off to their now customary lighting start.
In of RMMs first assault at the DHFC goal, Flash That lost his marker on the left to send in a pin point cross to RMMs Master Of Hit And Miss, Mat Burit, whom after much drama, managed to bundle the ball home for RMMs first goal*
The golden oldies of RMM continued to dominate play in the early exchanges and were threatening to extend their lead when controversy struck.
Latching on to a back pass by a DHFC player, Mat Burit was belatedly called offside by the match official, Fat Lard although the linesman had kept his flag down. The call somewhat left everyone bemused as the general assumption is that the attacker cannot be called offside if the ball was played to him by a defender.
Confused by his own call, Fat Lard then ordered a drop ball to be played and instructed RMM to return possession to DHFC from the drop ball. Not only had RMM lost a very good opportunity to stretch it’s lead, now it would also lose the advantage of possession as well.
RMMs superstar striker then decided to take the law into his own hands, ignoring common sense and sportsmanship to aim a punt directly towards the DHFC goal. Much to everyone’s horror, the ball bounced over the DHFC keeper and landed in the DHFC goal to give RMM a 2 goal lead.
Justice done or bad sportsmanship? That debate will rage on for a while.
Stung by the goal, DHFC then started to get a foothold into the game with their skillful playmaker pulling the strings and speedy right winger running rings around RMMs ironically named Speedy.
The 2 combined to great effect for DHFCs first attempt at goal when the speedy right winger crossed for the skillful playmaker who tried to chip the ball over RMMs keeper, Shark. Fortunately for Shark, the attempt flew directly and safely into his arms.
DHFC then pulled a goal back under mysterious circumstances. A quick attack down the left wing saw the winger putting in a weak cross that was easily fielded by Shark. With RMM looking to launch a quick counter, Fat Lard suddenly noticed the DHFC left winger lying in a crumpled heap inside the RMM box. The nearest RMM player to the injured winger was Red Devil Meng who was then adjudged to have fouled the winger. The veteran RMM defender denied it was ever a penalty as he ‘only kicked him after he crossed the ball”.
DHFCs playmaker then confidently stroked home the resulting penalty to make the score 2-1.
DHFCs onslaught continued as the speedy right winger discovered that RMMs Speedy was actually not speedy at all. The speedy right winger then equalized when he outpaced the RMM defense before chipping the stranded Shark.
Not content with equalizing, DHFC decided to go for the jugular and worked Shark in goal. First, the giant keeper had to use all of his height to palm and then collect a freekick from DHFCs playmaker. Then the keeper was forced to make a smart one on one save when his defense was breached by another through ball by the dangerous playmaker.
RMM however were determined to give as good as they got and went close to taking the lead again when a defensive mix up from DHFC saw Mat Burit homing in on an empty net. The Master Of Hit And Miss then showed everyone how he earned that title when he attempted what is best described as a tricycle kick from 0.5 yards out and somehow managed to put the ball over the bar.
That attempt not only won him the Miss Of The Season award a full 3 months before closing date, it has put him in contention for Miss Of The Century award as well.
Iceman then took matters into his own hands when the dead ball specialist sweetly curled in freekick from a tight angle for RMMs third goal.
The watching crowd made up of suspected thieves and bag snatchers were relieved to hear the halftime whistle as it gave them time to breathe after such an enthralling half. In fact the game turned out to be such an entertaining affair that none of them actually took time off to steal anything.
RMM were then forced into tweaking the team for the second half as Flash That was moved into goal after sustaining a light injury from his on-going battle with DHFCs Komando. Their bad blood had started from the last game and threatened to boil over on several occasions. Shark, who was suffering from fever was then moved to partner mat Burit and later Batigol upfront.
The second half was every bit as frenetic as the first half with some fantastic end to end football on display.
Blindman Poon took over Flash That’s position and started to run rings around Komando as well. As the wiry DHFC defender struggled to contain the sonically enhanced speedster, he started to take matters in his own hands (or rather, legs).
The Blindman was assaulted repeatedly by Komando and his cohorts but showed testicular fortitude by continuing his direct runs at them. This in turn led to several gilt edged chances for the Blindman but unfortunately for the legally blind winger, his sonar system had been damaged during those repeated assaults. Leaving the entire DHFC backline for dead in 1 of his typically surging runs, the Bilndman’s sonar could not locate the DHFC goal quick enough, resulting in him pulling his shot well wide when it was easier to score.
Minutes later, the Blindman pounced on a half cleared Iceman corner only to blaze the ball over DHFC’s goal.
With both teams fast tiring and the sun setting, many were expecting the final whistle. Fat Lard however had different ideas and decided to let play continue until DHFC had scored their equalizer. The game wore on until the pitch was pitch black and all one can hear was the insults hurled at Fat Lard from RMMers.
When the final whistle finally blew, there was a final piece of controversy as well when the recently married and ‘reformed’ Batigol decided to mimic WWEs Triple H’s entrance act of spewing water. Batigol however took it a step further and aimed his jet of water towards DHFC’s Komando, who needless to say wasn’t too pleased and had to be restrained by teammates.
Perhaps it was a fitting end to the game with the person who started the controversy ending the game with one as well.
Date: 26 September 2010
Venue: Kelab Sultan Sulaiman
Scorers: Mat Burit, Batigol, Iceman
Due to a technical glitch in Mysterious Maniam’s fixture computer, the return leg of this game was played much earlier than anticipated.
With none of their celebrity players in their line up, Desa Hartamas FC (DHFC) were actually a stronger side. That however did not deter RMM as the veterans once again got off to their now customary lighting start.
In of RMMs first assault at the DHFC goal, Flash That lost his marker on the left to send in a pin point cross to RMMs Master Of Hit And Miss, Mat Burit, whom after much drama, managed to bundle the ball home for RMMs first goal*
The golden oldies of RMM continued to dominate play in the early exchanges and were threatening to extend their lead when controversy struck.
Latching on to a back pass by a DHFC player, Mat Burit was belatedly called offside by the match official, Fat Lard although the linesman had kept his flag down. The call somewhat left everyone bemused as the general assumption is that the attacker cannot be called offside if the ball was played to him by a defender.
Confused by his own call, Fat Lard then ordered a drop ball to be played and instructed RMM to return possession to DHFC from the drop ball. Not only had RMM lost a very good opportunity to stretch it’s lead, now it would also lose the advantage of possession as well.
RMMs superstar striker then decided to take the law into his own hands, ignoring common sense and sportsmanship to aim a punt directly towards the DHFC goal. Much to everyone’s horror, the ball bounced over the DHFC keeper and landed in the DHFC goal to give RMM a 2 goal lead.
Justice done or bad sportsmanship? That debate will rage on for a while.
Stung by the goal, DHFC then started to get a foothold into the game with their skillful playmaker pulling the strings and speedy right winger running rings around RMMs ironically named Speedy.
The 2 combined to great effect for DHFCs first attempt at goal when the speedy right winger crossed for the skillful playmaker who tried to chip the ball over RMMs keeper, Shark. Fortunately for Shark, the attempt flew directly and safely into his arms.
DHFC then pulled a goal back under mysterious circumstances. A quick attack down the left wing saw the winger putting in a weak cross that was easily fielded by Shark. With RMM looking to launch a quick counter, Fat Lard suddenly noticed the DHFC left winger lying in a crumpled heap inside the RMM box. The nearest RMM player to the injured winger was Red Devil Meng who was then adjudged to have fouled the winger. The veteran RMM defender denied it was ever a penalty as he ‘only kicked him after he crossed the ball”.
DHFCs playmaker then confidently stroked home the resulting penalty to make the score 2-1.
DHFCs onslaught continued as the speedy right winger discovered that RMMs Speedy was actually not speedy at all. The speedy right winger then equalized when he outpaced the RMM defense before chipping the stranded Shark.
Not content with equalizing, DHFC decided to go for the jugular and worked Shark in goal. First, the giant keeper had to use all of his height to palm and then collect a freekick from DHFCs playmaker. Then the keeper was forced to make a smart one on one save when his defense was breached by another through ball by the dangerous playmaker.
RMM however were determined to give as good as they got and went close to taking the lead again when a defensive mix up from DHFC saw Mat Burit homing in on an empty net. The Master Of Hit And Miss then showed everyone how he earned that title when he attempted what is best described as a tricycle kick from 0.5 yards out and somehow managed to put the ball over the bar.
That attempt not only won him the Miss Of The Season award a full 3 months before closing date, it has put him in contention for Miss Of The Century award as well.
Iceman then took matters into his own hands when the dead ball specialist sweetly curled in freekick from a tight angle for RMMs third goal.
The watching crowd made up of suspected thieves and bag snatchers were relieved to hear the halftime whistle as it gave them time to breathe after such an enthralling half. In fact the game turned out to be such an entertaining affair that none of them actually took time off to steal anything.
RMM were then forced into tweaking the team for the second half as Flash That was moved into goal after sustaining a light injury from his on-going battle with DHFCs Komando. Their bad blood had started from the last game and threatened to boil over on several occasions. Shark, who was suffering from fever was then moved to partner mat Burit and later Batigol upfront.
The second half was every bit as frenetic as the first half with some fantastic end to end football on display.
Blindman Poon took over Flash That’s position and started to run rings around Komando as well. As the wiry DHFC defender struggled to contain the sonically enhanced speedster, he started to take matters in his own hands (or rather, legs).
The Blindman was assaulted repeatedly by Komando and his cohorts but showed testicular fortitude by continuing his direct runs at them. This in turn led to several gilt edged chances for the Blindman but unfortunately for the legally blind winger, his sonar system had been damaged during those repeated assaults. Leaving the entire DHFC backline for dead in 1 of his typically surging runs, the Bilndman’s sonar could not locate the DHFC goal quick enough, resulting in him pulling his shot well wide when it was easier to score.
Minutes later, the Blindman pounced on a half cleared Iceman corner only to blaze the ball over DHFC’s goal.
With both teams fast tiring and the sun setting, many were expecting the final whistle. Fat Lard however had different ideas and decided to let play continue until DHFC had scored their equalizer. The game wore on until the pitch was pitch black and all one can hear was the insults hurled at Fat Lard from RMMers.
When the final whistle finally blew, there was a final piece of controversy as well when the recently married and ‘reformed’ Batigol decided to mimic WWEs Triple H’s entrance act of spewing water. Batigol however took it a step further and aimed his jet of water towards DHFC’s Komando, who needless to say wasn’t too pleased and had to be restrained by teammates.
Perhaps it was a fitting end to the game with the person who started the controversy ending the game with one as well.
Date: 26 September 2010
Venue: Kelab Sultan Sulaiman
Scorers: Mat Burit, Batigol, Iceman
* For the 1st time ever, we will be featuring the players alternative view of the report, starting with Mat Burit’s own description of his goal – “Flash That cross was brilliantly brought under control by Mat Burit with his left, who then proceeded to turn 3 defenders before firing the ball into the DHFC keeper. Mat Burit then reacted quickest and collected the rebound and proceeded to beat another 3 players before slotting the ball home”
Thursday, September 23, 2010
RMM 8 Seoul FC 1
Hollow Victory
This was a most unsatisfactory win for RMM. Having waited a week for this tie, the veterans looked on in dismay across the pitch as their opponents could only manage to field 8 players. To even the game up, RMMs lifetime President, Guvnor decided to loan himself over to keep goal for Seoul FC. One of the match officials, Beer Gut Ref, decided to loan himself to Seoul FC as well to make up the numbers.
It was no surprise then that RMM once again started on the front foot and never took it's foot of the pedal.
After numerous near missed from the frontline, RMMs Master Of Hit & Miss, Mat Burit opened the floodgates with a shot from 2 yards out that hit the bar before going in. For a moment there, the rotund striker's team mates had thought that he had indeed followed his recent form and missed again.
RMM then doubled its lead without breaking sweat when the on form superstar, Batigol powered home from outside the Seoul FC box.
2 then became 3 as RMMs legally blind Blindman Poon managed to head a corner into the path of Mat Burit who again from 2 yards out, found the net. This time with what is best described as a tricycle kick.
The Master Of The Alternate Universe, Speedy then got into the scoring act as well with RMMs 4th. Zooming in on the Seoul FC goal with no defenders in sight, the formerly fast Speedy could only manage to shoot straight into Guvnor. The RMM loanee winked and parried the ball back into the path of Speedy who could not miss from the rebound.
The 5th RMM goal was as route 1 as it got. Off a powerful drop kick that landed deep in the Seoul FC half, the rotund Mat Burit managed to swivel and rolled his round frame around a Seoul FC defendar, losing his marker in the process before gleefully slotting home for his hattrick.
There were further reshuffling in the second half as both teams sought to have a more balanced and competitive game. RMMs Red Devil was loaned over to Seoul FC to help protect fellow loanee Guvnor's goal whilst Beer Gut Ref was switched over to RMM.
To make the game more interesting, Guvnor also challenged RMM to win the game by an 9 goal margin.
The reshuffling meant little to the on-fire Mat Burit as he notched his 4th of the afternoon when he smashed home a shot from outside the box. The chrome domed hitman had superstar partner Batigol to thank as well as the superstar unselfishly stepped over the ball to let it roll in.
The superstar then got in the scoring act himself when he went on a devastating run that saw him waltz past 3 defenders before coolly finishing off. Thankfully for team mates and spectators, there was no eye bulging, vein popping goal celebration this time.
RMMs 8th duly arrived when Red Devil Meng was robbed by the player he swapped with, Beer Gut Ref outside the Seoul FC box. Zooming in on goal, the greedy Beer Gut Ref ignored the better positioned Shark to fire in from an acute angle.
In between the 3 goals in the second half, RMMs found a new goal keeping hero in Zig Zack. The lanky defender turned keeper put in a spectacular performance, pulling off 3 Sunday League class saves.
Chasing it's 9th goal, RMM finally conceded 1 on the other end when Little Korean Boy, who has been giving left back Speedy a torrid afternoon tore past 3 RMM defenders to smash home from just inside the RMM box.
Whilst the game ended with the score at 8-1 in RMMs favour, the veterans had failed to beat Guvnor's challenge of a 9 goal margin win.
Date: 19 September 2010
Venue: Cochrane
Scorers: Mat Burit (x 4), Batigol (x2), Speedy, Beer Gut Ref (guest player)
This was a most unsatisfactory win for RMM. Having waited a week for this tie, the veterans looked on in dismay across the pitch as their opponents could only manage to field 8 players. To even the game up, RMMs lifetime President, Guvnor decided to loan himself over to keep goal for Seoul FC. One of the match officials, Beer Gut Ref, decided to loan himself to Seoul FC as well to make up the numbers.
It was no surprise then that RMM once again started on the front foot and never took it's foot of the pedal.
After numerous near missed from the frontline, RMMs Master Of Hit & Miss, Mat Burit opened the floodgates with a shot from 2 yards out that hit the bar before going in. For a moment there, the rotund striker's team mates had thought that he had indeed followed his recent form and missed again.
RMM then doubled its lead without breaking sweat when the on form superstar, Batigol powered home from outside the Seoul FC box.
2 then became 3 as RMMs legally blind Blindman Poon managed to head a corner into the path of Mat Burit who again from 2 yards out, found the net. This time with what is best described as a tricycle kick.
The Master Of The Alternate Universe, Speedy then got into the scoring act as well with RMMs 4th. Zooming in on the Seoul FC goal with no defenders in sight, the formerly fast Speedy could only manage to shoot straight into Guvnor. The RMM loanee winked and parried the ball back into the path of Speedy who could not miss from the rebound.
The 5th RMM goal was as route 1 as it got. Off a powerful drop kick that landed deep in the Seoul FC half, the rotund Mat Burit managed to swivel and rolled his round frame around a Seoul FC defendar, losing his marker in the process before gleefully slotting home for his hattrick.
There were further reshuffling in the second half as both teams sought to have a more balanced and competitive game. RMMs Red Devil was loaned over to Seoul FC to help protect fellow loanee Guvnor's goal whilst Beer Gut Ref was switched over to RMM.
To make the game more interesting, Guvnor also challenged RMM to win the game by an 9 goal margin.
The reshuffling meant little to the on-fire Mat Burit as he notched his 4th of the afternoon when he smashed home a shot from outside the box. The chrome domed hitman had superstar partner Batigol to thank as well as the superstar unselfishly stepped over the ball to let it roll in.
The superstar then got in the scoring act himself when he went on a devastating run that saw him waltz past 3 defenders before coolly finishing off. Thankfully for team mates and spectators, there was no eye bulging, vein popping goal celebration this time.
RMMs 8th duly arrived when Red Devil Meng was robbed by the player he swapped with, Beer Gut Ref outside the Seoul FC box. Zooming in on goal, the greedy Beer Gut Ref ignored the better positioned Shark to fire in from an acute angle.
In between the 3 goals in the second half, RMMs found a new goal keeping hero in Zig Zack. The lanky defender turned keeper put in a spectacular performance, pulling off 3 Sunday League class saves.
Chasing it's 9th goal, RMM finally conceded 1 on the other end when Little Korean Boy, who has been giving left back Speedy a torrid afternoon tore past 3 RMM defenders to smash home from just inside the RMM box.
Whilst the game ended with the score at 8-1 in RMMs favour, the veterans had failed to beat Guvnor's challenge of a 9 goal margin win.
Date: 19 September 2010
Venue: Cochrane
Scorers: Mat Burit (x 4), Batigol (x2), Speedy, Beer Gut Ref (guest player)
RMM 6 Desa Hartamas FC 4
See Saw Battle
RMM proved once again that on their day, the Golden Oldies can match anyone @ anywhere. In this instance, the anyone was Desa Hartamas FC (DHFC) who might as well be known as Hollywood FC with a roster of players that includes ex F1 driver Alex Yoong and ex M League pro football Abbas Saad. The where was the notorious Kelab Sultan Sulaiman, a hotspot for petty criminals looking to nick a player's bag or 2.
The wily veterans have learned to start their games strongly these days and this game was no exception. Attacking from the get go, RMM found the DHFC keeper to be in top form and a major stumbling block as the pacey Flash That and the Master Of Hit and Miss, Mat Burit came close on several occasions but were unable to find the net.
It was a matter of time before DHFC conceeded the 1st goal as RMM continued it's sustained siege on the DHFC goal. The situation that led to that important 1st goal was somewhat fortuotious for RMM as a DHFC defender unwittingly laid a back pass into the path of RMMs top scorer and resident superstar, Batigol. The supreme predator then unselfishly laid the ball into the path of RMMs holding midfielder, the marauding Hardman Joe. Even then, the DHFC keeper made life difficult for the now reformed Hardman by saving his first attempt. Fortunately for Hardman Joe, the rebound fell kindly into his path again for him to slot home to an empty net.
Flash That then got into the act for RMMs second as his flashy solo run left a host of DHFC defenders on their arses, leaving the speedster to walk the ball into an empty net.
It got even better for RMM when the ever supreme Batigol headed in a rare headed goal from Punisher's pin point cross. The placement of the header was by no means pin point, but the DHFC keeper decided to help by parrying the ball into the net. A sign of things to come.
With the scoreline @ 3-0, the over confident RMM players started to take their foot off the pedal, perhaps encouraged by the sight of a former M League player struggling to gain a foothold in the game. As their confidence grew, the RMM back line defended higher and higher up the pitch, leaving keeper Shark with the defensive sweeping duties.
DHFC got their 1st goal as a direct result of RMMs high defensive line as a long punt upfield from DHFC saw their striker, Giant Chinaman outpacing the RMM defense to home in towards the RMM goal. Unfortunately for RMM, the on rushing Shark misjudged the bounce of the oncoming ball and was caught flatfooted as well. Giant Chinaman the proceeded to roll the ball between the retreating SiYeh's legs into the RMM net.
RMM then hit back quickly to restore it's 3 goal lead when the flowing Kenny G pulled low cross from the DHFC byline for Predator to blast in from 2 yards out.
The first half ended 4-2 as Abbas Saad, who was relatively anonymous up to that point lobbed Shark from just inside the RMM half after a weak clearance header from SiYeh landed in front of him.
The former M League top scorer then scored his 2nd of the day at the start of the second half when some neat passing left him all alone facing the giant Speedy who had taken over the goalkeeping duties. Speedy, who is infamous for his poor positioning sense was needless to say caught in no man's land as Abbas easily chipped the ball over Speedy's gigantic 163cm frame to pull another goal back.
Abbas Saad then completed his hatrick when the RMM defence was once again caught flat and too far up the pitch leaving the Master Of The Alternative Universe, Speedy to face 2 DHFC strikers alone. Squaring up to the striker with the ball, Speedy could only watch helplessly as the DHFC striker unselfishly laid the ball across for the former M League to tap in from close range.
With the game tied @ 4 a piece, it looked as though the momentum was now with DHFC. That all changed however when the DHFC keeper suffered a sudden loss of form and dropped a simple catch to allow the rampaging Batigol to score from close range to give RMM a 5-4 lead.
The visibly shaken DHFC keeper did not have time to recover as the charging male bull elephant that is Batigol decided that he was not done yet. His next charge resulted in the DHFC keeper palming the ball weakly into the path of RMMs Hardman Joe who unselfishly laid the ball into the path of Mat Burit of managed to find the target from 8 yards out.
That proved to be the final goal in a pulsating game of football where both teams were committed to outscore each other.
RMMs victory was however marred by the theft of Marvelous Mel's belongings during the game, the second such incident involving RMMs players at this venue.
Venue: Kelab Sultan Sulaiman
Date: 12 September 2010
Scorers: Hardman Joe, Flash That, Batigol (x 2), Predator, Mat Burit
RMM proved once again that on their day, the Golden Oldies can match anyone @ anywhere. In this instance, the anyone was Desa Hartamas FC (DHFC) who might as well be known as Hollywood FC with a roster of players that includes ex F1 driver Alex Yoong and ex M League pro football Abbas Saad. The where was the notorious Kelab Sultan Sulaiman, a hotspot for petty criminals looking to nick a player's bag or 2.
The wily veterans have learned to start their games strongly these days and this game was no exception. Attacking from the get go, RMM found the DHFC keeper to be in top form and a major stumbling block as the pacey Flash That and the Master Of Hit and Miss, Mat Burit came close on several occasions but were unable to find the net.
It was a matter of time before DHFC conceeded the 1st goal as RMM continued it's sustained siege on the DHFC goal. The situation that led to that important 1st goal was somewhat fortuotious for RMM as a DHFC defender unwittingly laid a back pass into the path of RMMs top scorer and resident superstar, Batigol. The supreme predator then unselfishly laid the ball into the path of RMMs holding midfielder, the marauding Hardman Joe. Even then, the DHFC keeper made life difficult for the now reformed Hardman by saving his first attempt. Fortunately for Hardman Joe, the rebound fell kindly into his path again for him to slot home to an empty net.
Flash That then got into the act for RMMs second as his flashy solo run left a host of DHFC defenders on their arses, leaving the speedster to walk the ball into an empty net.
It got even better for RMM when the ever supreme Batigol headed in a rare headed goal from Punisher's pin point cross. The placement of the header was by no means pin point, but the DHFC keeper decided to help by parrying the ball into the net. A sign of things to come.
With the scoreline @ 3-0, the over confident RMM players started to take their foot off the pedal, perhaps encouraged by the sight of a former M League player struggling to gain a foothold in the game. As their confidence grew, the RMM back line defended higher and higher up the pitch, leaving keeper Shark with the defensive sweeping duties.
DHFC got their 1st goal as a direct result of RMMs high defensive line as a long punt upfield from DHFC saw their striker, Giant Chinaman outpacing the RMM defense to home in towards the RMM goal. Unfortunately for RMM, the on rushing Shark misjudged the bounce of the oncoming ball and was caught flatfooted as well. Giant Chinaman the proceeded to roll the ball between the retreating SiYeh's legs into the RMM net.
RMM then hit back quickly to restore it's 3 goal lead when the flowing Kenny G pulled low cross from the DHFC byline for Predator to blast in from 2 yards out.
The first half ended 4-2 as Abbas Saad, who was relatively anonymous up to that point lobbed Shark from just inside the RMM half after a weak clearance header from SiYeh landed in front of him.
The former M League top scorer then scored his 2nd of the day at the start of the second half when some neat passing left him all alone facing the giant Speedy who had taken over the goalkeeping duties. Speedy, who is infamous for his poor positioning sense was needless to say caught in no man's land as Abbas easily chipped the ball over Speedy's gigantic 163cm frame to pull another goal back.
Abbas Saad then completed his hatrick when the RMM defence was once again caught flat and too far up the pitch leaving the Master Of The Alternative Universe, Speedy to face 2 DHFC strikers alone. Squaring up to the striker with the ball, Speedy could only watch helplessly as the DHFC striker unselfishly laid the ball across for the former M League to tap in from close range.
With the game tied @ 4 a piece, it looked as though the momentum was now with DHFC. That all changed however when the DHFC keeper suffered a sudden loss of form and dropped a simple catch to allow the rampaging Batigol to score from close range to give RMM a 5-4 lead.
The visibly shaken DHFC keeper did not have time to recover as the charging male bull elephant that is Batigol decided that he was not done yet. His next charge resulted in the DHFC keeper palming the ball weakly into the path of RMMs Hardman Joe who unselfishly laid the ball into the path of Mat Burit of managed to find the target from 8 yards out.
That proved to be the final goal in a pulsating game of football where both teams were committed to outscore each other.
RMMs victory was however marred by the theft of Marvelous Mel's belongings during the game, the second such incident involving RMMs players at this venue.
Venue: Kelab Sultan Sulaiman
Date: 12 September 2010
Scorers: Hardman Joe, Flash That, Batigol (x 2), Predator, Mat Burit
Monday, September 6, 2010
RMM 5 Chinese Valencia 0
Battling Win
RMM showed this game that they can rumble with the best of them and still play some decent football in the process.
Games with Chinese Valencia (CV) have recently turned into edgy affairs and this game proved to be no different as both teams refused to be intimidated by the other. The situation was not helped by CVs instigator in chief, Fat Fuck, who kept egging his team mates to stick an elbow or boot in at every opportunity.
The game itself was as one sided as it gets with RMM controlling the game from the first whistle and coming close early on. Mat Burit continued his Miss and Hit form by hitting the post again after some close control took him past a prone CV keeper.
RMM continued to pressure and were unable to score despite having several chances via 1 on 1 situations. That was until RMMs striker in form, the superstar Batigol struck. Off another 1 on 1, Flash That could only run directly into the CV keeper who managed to only parry the ball towards the lurking Batigol who slotted home with glee.
At the back, there wasn’t much to do as the hung over Guvnor, playing in goal, spent much of his time trying not to spew. On the other hand, Red Devil Meng who took his customary time to warm up was caught cold several times and on one occasion, was rewarded with a slap in the face by a CV player after a mis-timed tackle. The referee however only deemed it as a yellow offense for both parties.
For all the domination, the wily veterans went into the break with only a single goal lead to show.
RMM continued to dominate in the second half as the Fat Fuck’s constant haranguing started to get in the heads of some frustrated CV players. Heavy challenges and off the ball incidents started creeping into the game as neither team wanted to concede ground.
The situation could have easily been diffused with better officiating but the ref in charge, PowerTrip a/l Egomaniac, had too little between his legs and too big a head to handle a game of this nature.
Informed by Shark that CV players were running rolling substitutions behind his back when the game was going on, PowerTripp could not handle the shame of his inability to control the CV players and chose to book Shark instead.
RMM then scored their second when Mat Burit finally went against his own form to score. The move that lead to the goal summed up RMMs performance. Building from the back when Shark’s timely tackle resulted in the stand in left back passing the ball to Marvelous Marv while on his arse, the resulting interplay between the Nitro, Guvnor and Blindman lead to a quick counter down the left that was finished off by the Master Of Hit and Miss who rounded 2 players and the keeper before slotting home.
PowerTrip’s game then got from bad to worse when he let off Fat Fuck who had blatantly charged Guvnor who was going for a header. The Fat Fuck never even looked at the ball and went straight into Guvnor with his lard laden belly. Even more befuddling was PowerTrip’s decision to only give a CV defender the yellow card when the dirty bastard blatantly smashed Blindman’s knee without ever attempting to play the ball.
That sent the wrong signals to the rest as both teams now realized that you can maim someone on the pitch and get away with only a yellow. Cue more fractious play from both teams and things finally boiled over when Kenny G decided to get in the act by performing a not so subtle knee on the back manoeuvre on a CV striker just outside the RMM box.
The result of that was lots of jostling and posturing from both team - the usual threats of bodily harm that almost always end in some girly shoving and ‘hold me or I’ll hit him’ antics. In between, a CV sub even rushed into the field holding PowerTrips helmet. It was thought that maybe he trying to contain power starved official’s huge head in the small helmet. The most befuddling incident was when a CV player decided to pick the match ball up and hoofed it into the construction site next to the pitch. It was indeed prove that the searing Malaysian sun can do funny things to those with limited brain cells.
The game finally restarted after CV players retrieved the ball from the site. Not surprisingly, Kenny G was only given a yellow card for starting the whole melee.
The resulting freekick did not even trouble the jittery Speedy in goal as the half ended without further incident.
During the break, Guvnor’s team talk was all about keeping heads cool and letting the feet do the talking. The lifetime President also demanded a 5 goal haul in the last half of the game from RMMers.
RMM then came storming out in the 3rd half with Iceman moved up to the coveted striker role. Flash That who had moved back to right back on the second half finally went into goal in the 3rd half.
Iceman’s move up paid instant dividends as the dead ball specialist showed that he can play a bit with a moving ball as well. Latching on a pinpoint through ball from the outstanding Marvelous Mel that had eluded the entire CV defense and their keeper, Iceman coolly and gleefully tapped the ball in from close range.
The on-fire stand in striker the got his second minutes later when he dribbled and stumbled past 2 CV defenders before firing home a low shot to make the game 4-0 to RMM.
Shark who had graduated to right mid from left back then supplied a dangerous cross after a superb through ball by Batigol only to watch the normally deadly Guvnor miss from 3 yards out.
The midfield general made amends minutes later when some quick thinking between new boy Punisher and Guvnor resulted in a quickly taken freekick that saw Guvnor waltzed past the entire CV defense before rounding the CV keeper to slot home RMMs 5th.
In the end, the 5-0 result was a fair reflection on the way the game with RMM playing a comfortable game despite the robust nature of their opponents.
Date: 5 September 2010
Venue: Kampung Pandan Sports Complex
Scorers: Batigol, Mat Burit, Iceman (x 2), Guvnor
RMM showed this game that they can rumble with the best of them and still play some decent football in the process.
Games with Chinese Valencia (CV) have recently turned into edgy affairs and this game proved to be no different as both teams refused to be intimidated by the other. The situation was not helped by CVs instigator in chief, Fat Fuck, who kept egging his team mates to stick an elbow or boot in at every opportunity.
The game itself was as one sided as it gets with RMM controlling the game from the first whistle and coming close early on. Mat Burit continued his Miss and Hit form by hitting the post again after some close control took him past a prone CV keeper.
RMM continued to pressure and were unable to score despite having several chances via 1 on 1 situations. That was until RMMs striker in form, the superstar Batigol struck. Off another 1 on 1, Flash That could only run directly into the CV keeper who managed to only parry the ball towards the lurking Batigol who slotted home with glee.
At the back, there wasn’t much to do as the hung over Guvnor, playing in goal, spent much of his time trying not to spew. On the other hand, Red Devil Meng who took his customary time to warm up was caught cold several times and on one occasion, was rewarded with a slap in the face by a CV player after a mis-timed tackle. The referee however only deemed it as a yellow offense for both parties.
For all the domination, the wily veterans went into the break with only a single goal lead to show.
RMM continued to dominate in the second half as the Fat Fuck’s constant haranguing started to get in the heads of some frustrated CV players. Heavy challenges and off the ball incidents started creeping into the game as neither team wanted to concede ground.
The situation could have easily been diffused with better officiating but the ref in charge, PowerTrip a/l Egomaniac, had too little between his legs and too big a head to handle a game of this nature.
Informed by Shark that CV players were running rolling substitutions behind his back when the game was going on, PowerTripp could not handle the shame of his inability to control the CV players and chose to book Shark instead.
RMM then scored their second when Mat Burit finally went against his own form to score. The move that lead to the goal summed up RMMs performance. Building from the back when Shark’s timely tackle resulted in the stand in left back passing the ball to Marvelous Marv while on his arse, the resulting interplay between the Nitro, Guvnor and Blindman lead to a quick counter down the left that was finished off by the Master Of Hit and Miss who rounded 2 players and the keeper before slotting home.
PowerTrip’s game then got from bad to worse when he let off Fat Fuck who had blatantly charged Guvnor who was going for a header. The Fat Fuck never even looked at the ball and went straight into Guvnor with his lard laden belly. Even more befuddling was PowerTrip’s decision to only give a CV defender the yellow card when the dirty bastard blatantly smashed Blindman’s knee without ever attempting to play the ball.
That sent the wrong signals to the rest as both teams now realized that you can maim someone on the pitch and get away with only a yellow. Cue more fractious play from both teams and things finally boiled over when Kenny G decided to get in the act by performing a not so subtle knee on the back manoeuvre on a CV striker just outside the RMM box.
The result of that was lots of jostling and posturing from both team - the usual threats of bodily harm that almost always end in some girly shoving and ‘hold me or I’ll hit him’ antics. In between, a CV sub even rushed into the field holding PowerTrips helmet. It was thought that maybe he trying to contain power starved official’s huge head in the small helmet. The most befuddling incident was when a CV player decided to pick the match ball up and hoofed it into the construction site next to the pitch. It was indeed prove that the searing Malaysian sun can do funny things to those with limited brain cells.
The game finally restarted after CV players retrieved the ball from the site. Not surprisingly, Kenny G was only given a yellow card for starting the whole melee.
The resulting freekick did not even trouble the jittery Speedy in goal as the half ended without further incident.
During the break, Guvnor’s team talk was all about keeping heads cool and letting the feet do the talking. The lifetime President also demanded a 5 goal haul in the last half of the game from RMMers.
RMM then came storming out in the 3rd half with Iceman moved up to the coveted striker role. Flash That who had moved back to right back on the second half finally went into goal in the 3rd half.
Iceman’s move up paid instant dividends as the dead ball specialist showed that he can play a bit with a moving ball as well. Latching on a pinpoint through ball from the outstanding Marvelous Mel that had eluded the entire CV defense and their keeper, Iceman coolly and gleefully tapped the ball in from close range.
The on-fire stand in striker the got his second minutes later when he dribbled and stumbled past 2 CV defenders before firing home a low shot to make the game 4-0 to RMM.
Shark who had graduated to right mid from left back then supplied a dangerous cross after a superb through ball by Batigol only to watch the normally deadly Guvnor miss from 3 yards out.
The midfield general made amends minutes later when some quick thinking between new boy Punisher and Guvnor resulted in a quickly taken freekick that saw Guvnor waltzed past the entire CV defense before rounding the CV keeper to slot home RMMs 5th.
In the end, the 5-0 result was a fair reflection on the way the game with RMM playing a comfortable game despite the robust nature of their opponents.
Date: 5 September 2010
Venue: Kampung Pandan Sports Complex
Scorers: Batigol, Mat Burit, Iceman (x 2), Guvnor
Saturday, September 4, 2010
RMM 3 Reida 3
Beginings of a new rivalry
It what looks like a new local rivalry, RMM conceded a late 3-3 draw against Reida. Fielding a team made out of disgruntled former RMMers and some so-called Futsal friends, the game always looked like it was going to be tense to say the least.
The first signs of tension was when Nitro, who moonlights for both teams whenever he can muster enough energy to get up from his afternoon naps, pulled out from the game through a combination of confusion and fear. Confused on which team to play for and fear of bodily harm inflicted by team that he will not play for.
The confusion was very much on show by his fellow moonlighter, Partyman Eddie who had decided to play for RMM but had forgotten that in the first 10 minutes of the game.
Off 1 of the partyman’s many ‘mis-directed’ passes, Reida drew first blood. After receiving Partyman’s pass on RMMs right, the Reida flanker sent a cross field ball towards the far post. With Red Devil still sleepwalking in his jammies, an onrushing Reida striker headed the ball home from almost point blank, leaving Shark to pick the ball out of the net for his first touch of the ball.
RMM slowly but surely got back into the game with Blindman Poon and Flash That burning up the pitch with their pace.
The equalizer came after some quick thinking from Iceman on the right. The deadball specialist opted to roll the ball to the on-rushing Partyman who promptly sent in an overhit cross. Thankfully for the full time party organizer, the lurking Blindman had his sonar system switched on and was able to guide a header back towards the Reida goal. The ever alert Guvnor finished off the move by sliding the ball home from close range.
With the equalizer in the bag, RMM continued to pile on the pressure and were rewarded a second goal thanks to more brilliant work by the Blindman who was running rings around the Reida defenders. Detecting an unmarked Batigol in the Reida box, the legally blind winger sent in a low cross for RMMs deadliest predator to unleash his world famous powershot. As he lined up for his moment of glory, RMMs superstar striker suffered a power outage and only managed a feeble attempt at goal. Fortunately for Batigol, the ball squirmed under Reida’s keeper into the back of the net.
It was all RMM in the first half as the battle hardened veterans continued to pile on the pressure and it was no surprise to the fans when a 3rd goal finally was scored.
Scoring arguably the best goal of the weekend, Iceman stepped up from 40 yards to smash home a Ronaldoesque freekick, all without any help from the non Jabulani ball. The Iceman was visibly chuffed to have scored against his futsal ‘buddies’.
The second half was less hectic affair for most as both teams seemed content to pace themselves for the now fashionable 3rd half. That however was not the case for Guvnor as the entire RMM defense decided to join Red Devil in his afternoon nap.
Playing as a 1 man defensive wall, Guvnor was seen throwing himself all over the RMM box in an attempt to preserve RMMs 2 goal lead.
Unfortunately for RMMs life time President, his attempts were all in vain when 1 of his last ditch tackles ended up at the feet of an onrushing Reida striker. With the rest of the RMM defense still having their nap, the onrushing Shark was caught out when the Reida striker chipped the ball into an empty net.
The fashionable 3rd half was a tense affair as both teams piled forward looking for more goals. RMMs Master Of Hit And Miss, Mat Burit finally lived up to his name when he missed a sitter from 6 yards out after some good build up play by RMMs forward line. The rotund hit and miss man then decided to hit the post as well for good measure.
Meanwhile on the other end, Shark was kept busy by through balls from the Reida midfielders who had decided that the best way forward is to roll the ball past the sleepwalking RMM defenders and let their strikers latch on to the through balls.
On 1 such occasion, the giant keeper was caught in mid air after clearing yet another through ball. Landing somewhat fortuitously on top of his assailant, Shark looked as though as he was going to put his knee through to the back of the Reida’s players head before dishing out some UFC styled ground and pound. Fortunately for all, the stand-in keeper managed to restraint himself and was given a talking to by the match official for his troubles.
Tension then threatened to boil over when ex RMMer Futsal Foo, decided to embarrass the docile Partyman Eddie. Not contented with easily passing the ageing partyman, the fleet footed Reida player decided for some strange reason to throw in monkey noises as well. The legally deaf partyman managed to somehow lip read these monkey noises and decided to take chunks out of the monkey’s legs.
The end result was a crying monkey stalking of the pitch and a strangely apologetic partyman.
Reida finally equalized with a fluky goal in the dying minutes when their attackers danced around the enthralled RMM defenders on the right of RMMs box before deciding to cross the ball. Expecting a cross, the vertically challenged Shark could only watch in horror as the ball sailed over his outstretched arms into the net.
In the end, the 3-3 result felt like a loss for most RMMers, who felt that only a resounding win against the dissenters would suffice.
Date: 29th August 2010
Venue: Stadium Raja Muda
Scorers: Guvnor, Batigol, Iceman
It what looks like a new local rivalry, RMM conceded a late 3-3 draw against Reida. Fielding a team made out of disgruntled former RMMers and some so-called Futsal friends, the game always looked like it was going to be tense to say the least.
The first signs of tension was when Nitro, who moonlights for both teams whenever he can muster enough energy to get up from his afternoon naps, pulled out from the game through a combination of confusion and fear. Confused on which team to play for and fear of bodily harm inflicted by team that he will not play for.
The confusion was very much on show by his fellow moonlighter, Partyman Eddie who had decided to play for RMM but had forgotten that in the first 10 minutes of the game.
Off 1 of the partyman’s many ‘mis-directed’ passes, Reida drew first blood. After receiving Partyman’s pass on RMMs right, the Reida flanker sent a cross field ball towards the far post. With Red Devil still sleepwalking in his jammies, an onrushing Reida striker headed the ball home from almost point blank, leaving Shark to pick the ball out of the net for his first touch of the ball.
RMM slowly but surely got back into the game with Blindman Poon and Flash That burning up the pitch with their pace.
The equalizer came after some quick thinking from Iceman on the right. The deadball specialist opted to roll the ball to the on-rushing Partyman who promptly sent in an overhit cross. Thankfully for the full time party organizer, the lurking Blindman had his sonar system switched on and was able to guide a header back towards the Reida goal. The ever alert Guvnor finished off the move by sliding the ball home from close range.
With the equalizer in the bag, RMM continued to pile on the pressure and were rewarded a second goal thanks to more brilliant work by the Blindman who was running rings around the Reida defenders. Detecting an unmarked Batigol in the Reida box, the legally blind winger sent in a low cross for RMMs deadliest predator to unleash his world famous powershot. As he lined up for his moment of glory, RMMs superstar striker suffered a power outage and only managed a feeble attempt at goal. Fortunately for Batigol, the ball squirmed under Reida’s keeper into the back of the net.
It was all RMM in the first half as the battle hardened veterans continued to pile on the pressure and it was no surprise to the fans when a 3rd goal finally was scored.
Scoring arguably the best goal of the weekend, Iceman stepped up from 40 yards to smash home a Ronaldoesque freekick, all without any help from the non Jabulani ball. The Iceman was visibly chuffed to have scored against his futsal ‘buddies’.
The second half was less hectic affair for most as both teams seemed content to pace themselves for the now fashionable 3rd half. That however was not the case for Guvnor as the entire RMM defense decided to join Red Devil in his afternoon nap.
Playing as a 1 man defensive wall, Guvnor was seen throwing himself all over the RMM box in an attempt to preserve RMMs 2 goal lead.
Unfortunately for RMMs life time President, his attempts were all in vain when 1 of his last ditch tackles ended up at the feet of an onrushing Reida striker. With the rest of the RMM defense still having their nap, the onrushing Shark was caught out when the Reida striker chipped the ball into an empty net.
The fashionable 3rd half was a tense affair as both teams piled forward looking for more goals. RMMs Master Of Hit And Miss, Mat Burit finally lived up to his name when he missed a sitter from 6 yards out after some good build up play by RMMs forward line. The rotund hit and miss man then decided to hit the post as well for good measure.
Meanwhile on the other end, Shark was kept busy by through balls from the Reida midfielders who had decided that the best way forward is to roll the ball past the sleepwalking RMM defenders and let their strikers latch on to the through balls.
On 1 such occasion, the giant keeper was caught in mid air after clearing yet another through ball. Landing somewhat fortuitously on top of his assailant, Shark looked as though as he was going to put his knee through to the back of the Reida’s players head before dishing out some UFC styled ground and pound. Fortunately for all, the stand-in keeper managed to restraint himself and was given a talking to by the match official for his troubles.
Tension then threatened to boil over when ex RMMer Futsal Foo, decided to embarrass the docile Partyman Eddie. Not contented with easily passing the ageing partyman, the fleet footed Reida player decided for some strange reason to throw in monkey noises as well. The legally deaf partyman managed to somehow lip read these monkey noises and decided to take chunks out of the monkey’s legs.
The end result was a crying monkey stalking of the pitch and a strangely apologetic partyman.
Reida finally equalized with a fluky goal in the dying minutes when their attackers danced around the enthralled RMM defenders on the right of RMMs box before deciding to cross the ball. Expecting a cross, the vertically challenged Shark could only watch in horror as the ball sailed over his outstretched arms into the net.
In the end, the 3-3 result felt like a loss for most RMMers, who felt that only a resounding win against the dissenters would suffice.
Date: 29th August 2010
Venue: Stadium Raja Muda
Scorers: Guvnor, Batigol, Iceman
RMM 2 Wolverines 2
Battle Of The Chinese Fighter Cocks
Gearing up in it’s away kit for the first time, RMM started the game like a house on fire,
attacking from all corners.
It was no surprise then when the wily veterans took the lead via Kenny G who pounced on a loose ball after keeper failed to hold onto powerful shot by RMMs superstar and goal master supreme, Batigol.
With RMM in full flow, Wolverine could hardly muster an attack on the RMM goal leaving Guvnor who was playing in goal to swat flies.
Blindman Poon was in devastating form again and caused all sorts of havoc on the Wolverine defense. Tired of being chasing the Blindman's tail, Wolverine’s Dirty Short Chinaman resorted to shirt pulling, tripping, off the ball elbows and finally out right assault. All to no avail.
Kenny G then tried to return the favor to Batigol when he played in a lovely low cross to the unmarked superstar. Unfortunately for RMMs supreme predator, he totally missed the ball with the goal gaping in front of him.
The missed gave Wolverine some hope as RMM decided to press the self destruct button. Lacking in match fitness, Hardman Joe misplaced his backpass straight into the path of a stunned Wolverine forward who duly equalized despite the valiant efforts of Guvnor.
By this time, RMM had lost the momentum going forward as Wolverine grew in confidence and started to create more chances.
If not for a world class save from Guvnor towards the end of the half, RMM would have gone into the break a goal down.
Wolverine started the game where they left off with Dirty Short Chinaman moving further forward to target RMMs Shark who was playing in the leftback position. Needless to say, both the undersized Chinamen took an instant dislike to each other.
Dirty Short Chinamen then drew first blood when he peeled away from Shark to cut inside the RMM box before unleashing a shot past the yet again out of position Speedy, playing in goal and claims that in his own alternate universe he was well positioned.
RMM then started to slowly claw back into the game as the battle of the shorties wore on. Shark then managed to best Dirty Short Chinaman when he cut off the dirty little prick before slipping the ball to the Blindman whose electric run nearly ended up with a RMM equalizer.
The equalizer finally came when RMMs superstar, Batigol made amends for his earlier miss finishing off another flowing RMM attack with Blindman again providing the vital cross for the superstar to control the cross, sidestep a defender before slotting home.
That was the end of the goal action in the game but there was more drama to come in the middle of the park. Frustrated by his losing battle with Shark and embarrassed regularly by Blindman Poon, Dirty Short Chinaman started becoming extremely agitated. He was so incensed with getting a taste of his own off the ball antics that he started complaining about imaginary fouls that he thought was committed by Shark.
The little prick from Wolverine finally cracked and was sent off for trying to commit assault on a RMM player going in for a 50% 50% ball.
RMM were however unable to capitalized on the numerical advantage and were forced to settled for a 2-2 draw.
Date: 22nd August 2010
Venue: Kamping Pandan Sports Complex
Scorers: Kenny G, Batigol
Gearing up in it’s away kit for the first time, RMM started the game like a house on fire,
attacking from all corners.
It was no surprise then when the wily veterans took the lead via Kenny G who pounced on a loose ball after keeper failed to hold onto powerful shot by RMMs superstar and goal master supreme, Batigol.
With RMM in full flow, Wolverine could hardly muster an attack on the RMM goal leaving Guvnor who was playing in goal to swat flies.
Blindman Poon was in devastating form again and caused all sorts of havoc on the Wolverine defense. Tired of being chasing the Blindman's tail, Wolverine’s Dirty Short Chinaman resorted to shirt pulling, tripping, off the ball elbows and finally out right assault. All to no avail.
Kenny G then tried to return the favor to Batigol when he played in a lovely low cross to the unmarked superstar. Unfortunately for RMMs supreme predator, he totally missed the ball with the goal gaping in front of him.
The missed gave Wolverine some hope as RMM decided to press the self destruct button. Lacking in match fitness, Hardman Joe misplaced his backpass straight into the path of a stunned Wolverine forward who duly equalized despite the valiant efforts of Guvnor.
By this time, RMM had lost the momentum going forward as Wolverine grew in confidence and started to create more chances.
If not for a world class save from Guvnor towards the end of the half, RMM would have gone into the break a goal down.
Wolverine started the game where they left off with Dirty Short Chinaman moving further forward to target RMMs Shark who was playing in the leftback position. Needless to say, both the undersized Chinamen took an instant dislike to each other.
Dirty Short Chinamen then drew first blood when he peeled away from Shark to cut inside the RMM box before unleashing a shot past the yet again out of position Speedy, playing in goal and claims that in his own alternate universe he was well positioned.
RMM then started to slowly claw back into the game as the battle of the shorties wore on. Shark then managed to best Dirty Short Chinaman when he cut off the dirty little prick before slipping the ball to the Blindman whose electric run nearly ended up with a RMM equalizer.
The equalizer finally came when RMMs superstar, Batigol made amends for his earlier miss finishing off another flowing RMM attack with Blindman again providing the vital cross for the superstar to control the cross, sidestep a defender before slotting home.
That was the end of the goal action in the game but there was more drama to come in the middle of the park. Frustrated by his losing battle with Shark and embarrassed regularly by Blindman Poon, Dirty Short Chinaman started becoming extremely agitated. He was so incensed with getting a taste of his own off the ball antics that he started complaining about imaginary fouls that he thought was committed by Shark.
The little prick from Wolverine finally cracked and was sent off for trying to commit assault on a RMM player going in for a 50% 50% ball.
RMM were however unable to capitalized on the numerical advantage and were forced to settled for a 2-2 draw.
Date: 22nd August 2010
Venue: Kamping Pandan Sports Complex
Scorers: Kenny G, Batigol
Thursday, August 26, 2010
RMM 4 Blue Boys 0
Beginning Of A New Era
After almost 2 years the much favoured maroon kit lifespan finally came to an end… and with that, RMM introduced the new 2010 / 2011 season home and away kit.
The launch was somewhat dampened with only 11 players arriving in time for the kickoff.
The newly kitted RMM were very much up for it and went in search for goals straight from the kickoff. The lightweight youngsters Blue Boys, were no match for the wily veterans and were left chasing shadows as RMM easily kept possession and passed the ball around.
After missing several half chances, Kenny G finally broke the deadlock with a smart left foot finish.
Blindman Poon (who also wants to be known as P.Panther), combined well on the left with Speedy, who slung in a teasing low cross which had the Blue Boy defence scrambling all over the place. That left the the lanky, legally blind Ipoh lad a wide open goal to aim at. Unfortunately for RMM, the legally blind Blindman did not set his sights well enough.
With Blue Boys struggling to even take a proper goalkick, RMM continued to create and miss chances. A frustrated Kenny G then unexpectedly kicked out at a Blue Boy player for unknown reasons nearly causing a free-for-all. He was lucky to stay on the pitch as the ref only gave him a yellow card.
Guvnor who started in goal, hardly had anything to do apart from fielding a couple of back passes was almost called into action when Blue Boys somehow managed to catch the stagnant RMM defence off guard. Fortunately the Blue Boys striker could only find the side netting when he was well placed to do real damage.
The incident sparked RMM back into life again when Kenny G once again picked up a loose ball from just outside the box and unleashed an unstoppable left footed screamer to make it 2-0.
Minutes later, superstar Batigol almost grabbed a third when his 25m curler came back off the bar with the keeper well beaten.
Blue Boys were very fortunate to go into the break with only a 2 goal deficit.
The game re-started like it ended with RMM pounding at Blue Boy's door. The newly introduced Shark posed a constant danger to Blue Boys, popping up in dangerous positions, picking holes in the Blue Boy's defence.
Unfortunately for the once feared striker, he missed chance after chance and even managed to scoop a left footed rebound over the bar from 6 yards.
That however did not stop the runaway train that is RMM, as Batigol plundered another 2 goals before the final whislte. The on form striker showed once again why he is now RMMs undisputed superstar with 2 typically powerfully taken goals.
The final result reflected the best possible launch to RMMs new kit.
Date: 15 August 2010
Venue: Komplex Sukan Kampung Pandan
Scorers: Kenny G (x2), Batigol (x2)
After almost 2 years the much favoured maroon kit lifespan finally came to an end… and with that, RMM introduced the new 2010 / 2011 season home and away kit.
The launch was somewhat dampened with only 11 players arriving in time for the kickoff.
The newly kitted RMM were very much up for it and went in search for goals straight from the kickoff. The lightweight youngsters Blue Boys, were no match for the wily veterans and were left chasing shadows as RMM easily kept possession and passed the ball around.
After missing several half chances, Kenny G finally broke the deadlock with a smart left foot finish.
Blindman Poon (who also wants to be known as P.Panther), combined well on the left with Speedy, who slung in a teasing low cross which had the Blue Boy defence scrambling all over the place. That left the the lanky, legally blind Ipoh lad a wide open goal to aim at. Unfortunately for RMM, the legally blind Blindman did not set his sights well enough.
With Blue Boys struggling to even take a proper goalkick, RMM continued to create and miss chances. A frustrated Kenny G then unexpectedly kicked out at a Blue Boy player for unknown reasons nearly causing a free-for-all. He was lucky to stay on the pitch as the ref only gave him a yellow card.
Guvnor who started in goal, hardly had anything to do apart from fielding a couple of back passes was almost called into action when Blue Boys somehow managed to catch the stagnant RMM defence off guard. Fortunately the Blue Boys striker could only find the side netting when he was well placed to do real damage.
The incident sparked RMM back into life again when Kenny G once again picked up a loose ball from just outside the box and unleashed an unstoppable left footed screamer to make it 2-0.
Minutes later, superstar Batigol almost grabbed a third when his 25m curler came back off the bar with the keeper well beaten.
Blue Boys were very fortunate to go into the break with only a 2 goal deficit.
The game re-started like it ended with RMM pounding at Blue Boy's door. The newly introduced Shark posed a constant danger to Blue Boys, popping up in dangerous positions, picking holes in the Blue Boy's defence.
Unfortunately for the once feared striker, he missed chance after chance and even managed to scoop a left footed rebound over the bar from 6 yards.
That however did not stop the runaway train that is RMM, as Batigol plundered another 2 goals before the final whislte. The on form striker showed once again why he is now RMMs undisputed superstar with 2 typically powerfully taken goals.
The final result reflected the best possible launch to RMMs new kit.
Date: 15 August 2010
Venue: Komplex Sukan Kampung Pandan
Scorers: Kenny G (x2), Batigol (x2)
RMM 2 Sec17 2
Disappointing Draw
The pairing of a veteran team and social league debutante's normally would translate into a one sided affair with the veterans coming up tops.
The early indications from this game was that it would be headed the same way as RMM took control of the game. With Guvnor and Iceman pulling the strings in the middle of the park, RMM battered the Sec17 defense but could not find a way through with the front line missing chance after chance.
The Sec17 defense finally crumbled when Partyman Eddie's header hit the bar, leaving Guvnor to finish off the rebound.
RMM then doubled it's lead when resident aerial bomber, Guvnor scored a towering header from Iceman's corner kick.
Just as it looks like RMM were going to register a cricket score, Sec17 struck back. Off a harmless freekick, miscommunication between stand-in keeper Shark and his defense resulted in a pack of frozen RMM players ball watching. That left a delighted Sec17 striker all alone to slot the ball home easily.
RMM continued to dominate and miss chances in the second half and were finally made to pay when Sec17 scored their equaliser, thanks to a combination of poor discipline defending and lack of discipline.
Displaying his usual aversion to high bouncing balls, Nitro was caught out by a Sec17 striker before resorting to illegally preventing the striker from getting past him.
The resulting freekick was smashed into the wall by Sec17's Tai Keok Weng but unfortunately for RMM, the kick was ordered to be retaken as Shark, who had moved into the leftback role, was adjudged to have charged the kicker too soon.
Much to the horror of Shark, Tai Keok Weng then decided to use placement instead of power on the retaken kick, placing it on the top corner of RMM goal. Stand in keeper Flash That got his hand to it but did not manage to divert the ball away from goal.
The final score was an embarrassing 2-2 draw for RMM, whom had expected to register an easy win.
Date: 8 August 2010
Venue: Padang Hospital Besar, Tun Razak
Scorers: Guvnor (x 2)
The pairing of a veteran team and social league debutante's normally would translate into a one sided affair with the veterans coming up tops.
The early indications from this game was that it would be headed the same way as RMM took control of the game. With Guvnor and Iceman pulling the strings in the middle of the park, RMM battered the Sec17 defense but could not find a way through with the front line missing chance after chance.
The Sec17 defense finally crumbled when Partyman Eddie's header hit the bar, leaving Guvnor to finish off the rebound.
RMM then doubled it's lead when resident aerial bomber, Guvnor scored a towering header from Iceman's corner kick.
Just as it looks like RMM were going to register a cricket score, Sec17 struck back. Off a harmless freekick, miscommunication between stand-in keeper Shark and his defense resulted in a pack of frozen RMM players ball watching. That left a delighted Sec17 striker all alone to slot the ball home easily.
RMM continued to dominate and miss chances in the second half and were finally made to pay when Sec17 scored their equaliser, thanks to a combination of poor discipline defending and lack of discipline.
Displaying his usual aversion to high bouncing balls, Nitro was caught out by a Sec17 striker before resorting to illegally preventing the striker from getting past him.
The resulting freekick was smashed into the wall by Sec17's Tai Keok Weng but unfortunately for RMM, the kick was ordered to be retaken as Shark, who had moved into the leftback role, was adjudged to have charged the kicker too soon.
Much to the horror of Shark, Tai Keok Weng then decided to use placement instead of power on the retaken kick, placing it on the top corner of RMM goal. Stand in keeper Flash That got his hand to it but did not manage to divert the ball away from goal.
The final score was an embarrassing 2-2 draw for RMM, whom had expected to register an easy win.
Date: 8 August 2010
Venue: Padang Hospital Besar, Tun Razak
Scorers: Guvnor (x 2)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
RMM 1 Friends FC 1
Anti Climatic End To The Week
In a game of 3 halves that never finished, this game will be best remembered for Mrs Beng's ballsy defense of Zig Zag.
The game started brightly for RMM as the veterans controlled the game from the 1st whistle and with Flash That and Blindman Poon in full flow, the first 15 minutes saw the wily veterans coming close with Batigol, Mat Burit, Flash That and Guvnor all missing gilt edged chances.
This however made RMM susceptible to quick counters as both the backs started bombing forward like Brazilians. Typically for RMM, the Malaysian born Brazilians failed to understand that tracking back was part of their job.
Friends FC (FFC) then took the lead against the run of play when a through ball into RMMs box on the left found an unmarked FFC striker all alone in the RMM box. With the RMM backline looking bemused and confused, the lone striker merely walked past Shark in RMMs goal before coolly rolling the ball home.
RMM continued to pile on the pressure and miss more chances before Flash That finally evened the game after leaping like a salmon to bury home a powerful header off a peach of a cross from Partyman Eddie.
RMM continued to control the second half but were still unable to make the domination count as the half finished without any incidences to note.
Things picked up on the 3rd half as FFC started to claw their way back into the game. Partyman Eddie had taken over Shark's shift between the posts and was lucky not to concede early when faced with a FFC striker on a 1 on 1 situation. Fortunately for RMMs No.1 party animal, the FFC striker managed only a weak bobbling attempt directly into his chest.
They say 'Fortune Favours The Brave' but that certainly didn't apply to Partyman who's lack of testicular fortitude is well known amongst his team mates. His luck did however hold as FFC came close by hitting the posts twice.
Things meanwhile were getting more tasty in the middle of the park and it was no surprise when Zig Zack got into an altercation with FFC's Beer Belly. Both players were then given their marching orders for their troubles.
Just as the game restarted, Beer Belly heard voices in his head and decided that it was Zig Zack's. Not happy with what those voices told him, he decided to confront Zig Zack. Taking off his jersey to show off how he got his name, he also decided to introduce Beng Koh's family chair to Zig Zack.
However, much to everyone's surprise, Mrs Beng sprang into action to reclaim the family chair from the startled Beer Belly. The situation then deteriorated into a farce with players from both teams waded in. RMMs resident superstar Batigol was seen confronting Beer Belly for endangering his entourage as well.
Needless to say, the match was abandoned with the game coming to an inconclusive end...
Date: 1 August 2010
Venue: SMK Cochrane Perkasa
Scorer: Flash That
In a game of 3 halves that never finished, this game will be best remembered for Mrs Beng's ballsy defense of Zig Zag.
The game started brightly for RMM as the veterans controlled the game from the 1st whistle and with Flash That and Blindman Poon in full flow, the first 15 minutes saw the wily veterans coming close with Batigol, Mat Burit, Flash That and Guvnor all missing gilt edged chances.
This however made RMM susceptible to quick counters as both the backs started bombing forward like Brazilians. Typically for RMM, the Malaysian born Brazilians failed to understand that tracking back was part of their job.
Friends FC (FFC) then took the lead against the run of play when a through ball into RMMs box on the left found an unmarked FFC striker all alone in the RMM box. With the RMM backline looking bemused and confused, the lone striker merely walked past Shark in RMMs goal before coolly rolling the ball home.
RMM continued to pile on the pressure and miss more chances before Flash That finally evened the game after leaping like a salmon to bury home a powerful header off a peach of a cross from Partyman Eddie.
RMM continued to control the second half but were still unable to make the domination count as the half finished without any incidences to note.
Things picked up on the 3rd half as FFC started to claw their way back into the game. Partyman Eddie had taken over Shark's shift between the posts and was lucky not to concede early when faced with a FFC striker on a 1 on 1 situation. Fortunately for RMMs No.1 party animal, the FFC striker managed only a weak bobbling attempt directly into his chest.
They say 'Fortune Favours The Brave' but that certainly didn't apply to Partyman who's lack of testicular fortitude is well known amongst his team mates. His luck did however hold as FFC came close by hitting the posts twice.
Things meanwhile were getting more tasty in the middle of the park and it was no surprise when Zig Zack got into an altercation with FFC's Beer Belly. Both players were then given their marching orders for their troubles.
Just as the game restarted, Beer Belly heard voices in his head and decided that it was Zig Zack's. Not happy with what those voices told him, he decided to confront Zig Zack. Taking off his jersey to show off how he got his name, he also decided to introduce Beng Koh's family chair to Zig Zack.
However, much to everyone's surprise, Mrs Beng sprang into action to reclaim the family chair from the startled Beer Belly. The situation then deteriorated into a farce with players from both teams waded in. RMMs resident superstar Batigol was seen confronting Beer Belly for endangering his entourage as well.
Needless to say, the match was abandoned with the game coming to an inconclusive end...
Date: 1 August 2010
Venue: SMK Cochrane Perkasa
Scorer: Flash That
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
RMM 3 Kunt Team 0
BUSINESS AS USUAL
RMM made short work of Kunt Team on a rain swept afternoon in KL, scoring all 3 goals in the first half.
With Short Dwarf, Scarface and Bad Attitude missing from their lineup, Kunt Team (KT) were missing their element of kuntness. Even as the tropical thunderstorm set in and created a padi field that was ripe for meaty tackles, the Kunnies were strangely subdued.
RMM took full advantage of it and quickly took the lead thru the master of hit and miss, Mat Burit. For once hitting rather than missing.
RMM then doubled it's lead within seconds of the restart when Flash That won possession off KT from the re-start and sent a dangerous low cross into the KT box. A back pedalling Goggle Man then unwittingly cleared the ball into his own net. OG had struck for RMM once again.
Not to be outdone, RMMs superstar striker Batigol then got the veterans 3rd as the game descended into a farce with the rain lashing down and visibility was almost none existent. Needless to say, Blindman Poon was best suited to the environment as he neither needed or had any eyesight to begin with.
Stand in keeper Shark was often spotted hiding under a banner most of the game and ironically his most dangerous moments came from his team mates rather than KT attacks.
On 1 occasion, Iceman's back header fell awkwardly short at the edge of the RMM box. The charging Shark's momentum brought him out of the box, forcing him to juggle the ball like a hot potato before throwing it away like a grenade.
On another occasion, Titan's back pass was again woefully short and the giant keeper had to scramble his clearance away.
The rain had stopped for the second half but by then, the pitch was almost unplayable. With both teams resigned to just kicking and splashing around, it was no surprise that the half was scoreless.
RMM did however come close when Shark smacked his effort against the KT bar from 12 yards after a great cushion header from Partyman Eddie.
The second half will however be best remembered for Blindman's electric runs down the left flank and the opponents futile attempts to perform primitive amputation on him.
Date: 25 July 2010
Venue: Cochrane
Scorers: Mat Burit, OG, Batigol
RMM made short work of Kunt Team on a rain swept afternoon in KL, scoring all 3 goals in the first half.
With Short Dwarf, Scarface and Bad Attitude missing from their lineup, Kunt Team (KT) were missing their element of kuntness. Even as the tropical thunderstorm set in and created a padi field that was ripe for meaty tackles, the Kunnies were strangely subdued.
RMM took full advantage of it and quickly took the lead thru the master of hit and miss, Mat Burit. For once hitting rather than missing.
RMM then doubled it's lead within seconds of the restart when Flash That won possession off KT from the re-start and sent a dangerous low cross into the KT box. A back pedalling Goggle Man then unwittingly cleared the ball into his own net. OG had struck for RMM once again.
Not to be outdone, RMMs superstar striker Batigol then got the veterans 3rd as the game descended into a farce with the rain lashing down and visibility was almost none existent. Needless to say, Blindman Poon was best suited to the environment as he neither needed or had any eyesight to begin with.
Stand in keeper Shark was often spotted hiding under a banner most of the game and ironically his most dangerous moments came from his team mates rather than KT attacks.
On 1 occasion, Iceman's back header fell awkwardly short at the edge of the RMM box. The charging Shark's momentum brought him out of the box, forcing him to juggle the ball like a hot potato before throwing it away like a grenade.
On another occasion, Titan's back pass was again woefully short and the giant keeper had to scramble his clearance away.
The rain had stopped for the second half but by then, the pitch was almost unplayable. With both teams resigned to just kicking and splashing around, it was no surprise that the half was scoreless.
RMM did however come close when Shark smacked his effort against the KT bar from 12 yards after a great cushion header from Partyman Eddie.
The second half will however be best remembered for Blindman's electric runs down the left flank and the opponents futile attempts to perform primitive amputation on him.
Date: 25 July 2010
Venue: Cochrane
Scorers: Mat Burit, OG, Batigol
Monday, July 19, 2010
RMM 2 Chinese Valencia 1
The goalkeeping comedy show continues
With RMMs 2 giant stand-in keepers engaged in a weekly contest on who can concede the most comical goal, it was no wonder that RMM hasn't kept a clean sheet in recent memory.
This week, 2nd choice stand-in keeper and reigning Master Of The Alternate Universe, Speedy took the honors in the comical goal conceded contest with a cock up that may never be topped. Ever.
Quick off the block, RMM looked to have set the tone for another cricket scoreline type of game when the veterans who a penalty as early as the 3rd minute. Batigol's previously undiscovered turn of pace led to a desperate trip on the star striker in the Chinese Valencia (CV) box.
The spot kick duty was then passed to Partyman Eddie based on RMMs aged based rotation policy. Unable to warm up his creaking bones on time, the Partyman sent this weak shot directly into an already prone CV keeper further adding to RMMs dismal record on penalties.
The veterans then had an immediate chance to take the lead when Mat Burit wriggled his way free from some close attention of 2 CV defenders before sending his shot wide when it looked easier to score.
RMM finally took the lead in the 15th minute when superstar striker Batigol again showed great pace and a clinical finishing to match.
The battle hardened continued to control the game and came close to extending the lead a few times and were never troubled on the other end with the only entertainment coming from a crooked neck Snake who somehow slithered one sided throughout the game.
In goal, stand-in keeper Shark decided to liven things up with some wayward kicking and in the process managed to get his own and a few team mate's blood boiling.
The 1 goal lead that RMM took into halftime was indeed a poor reflection of the game up until that point as the veterans were in full control with Mat Burit spurning a few more gilt edged chances.
The second half however proved to be a more even contest as RMMs played became disjointed due to the unusually large number of substitutions.
RMMs second half shot stopper, Speedy was called into action on several occasions early on and even managed to pull off a convincing save that Shark totally messed up last week.
With Speedy looking unusually rock steady between the post, RMM started to look dangerous again upfront. Guvnor came close to stretching RMMs lead with a diving header that went just wide.
RMMs persistence finally paid off when Blindman Poon embarked on one of his blinding runs on the left flank. Leaving 3 CV defenders on their arses despite their best efforts to hack his spindly legs off, the legally blind winger's sonar system was in full working order as he located with pin point accuracy the lurking Hardman Joe at the edge of the CV box. The now reformed but still hard Hardman then cooly slotted the ball home for a 2 goal RMM lead.
At this point, many RMMers were hoping that the floodgates will open for another high scoring encounter but CV refused to fold and hung in there. When the opportunity came, the CV's dead ball proponents showed that they had done their homework on Speedy by punting all sorts of shots at the giant.
That paid off finally for CV when they punted a 40 yard freekick directly into the middle of the RMM goal. Quick to react, Speedy ran past his left hand post to leap like a salmon before executing an air-kick to complete the motion. As the ball was bouncing into the net in the middle of the goal, Speedy's position was dubious to say the least.
With a comical consolation goal in their pocket, CV tried to mount a fightback but were lucky to escape further punishment from RMM when the twin turbo terrors of Flash That and Blundman Poon bore down towards the CV goal at top speed only for the Blindman to finish just wide.
The game ended at 2-1, which also ended the high scoring streak RMM has had over the past few months. The game however will be best remembered for Speedy's one man stand up comedy show.
Date: 18 July 2010
Venue: Padang Cochrane
Scorers: Batigol, Hardman Joe
With RMMs 2 giant stand-in keepers engaged in a weekly contest on who can concede the most comical goal, it was no wonder that RMM hasn't kept a clean sheet in recent memory.
This week, 2nd choice stand-in keeper and reigning Master Of The Alternate Universe, Speedy took the honors in the comical goal conceded contest with a cock up that may never be topped. Ever.
Quick off the block, RMM looked to have set the tone for another cricket scoreline type of game when the veterans who a penalty as early as the 3rd minute. Batigol's previously undiscovered turn of pace led to a desperate trip on the star striker in the Chinese Valencia (CV) box.
The spot kick duty was then passed to Partyman Eddie based on RMMs aged based rotation policy. Unable to warm up his creaking bones on time, the Partyman sent this weak shot directly into an already prone CV keeper further adding to RMMs dismal record on penalties.
The veterans then had an immediate chance to take the lead when Mat Burit wriggled his way free from some close attention of 2 CV defenders before sending his shot wide when it looked easier to score.
RMM finally took the lead in the 15th minute when superstar striker Batigol again showed great pace and a clinical finishing to match.
The battle hardened continued to control the game and came close to extending the lead a few times and were never troubled on the other end with the only entertainment coming from a crooked neck Snake who somehow slithered one sided throughout the game.
In goal, stand-in keeper Shark decided to liven things up with some wayward kicking and in the process managed to get his own and a few team mate's blood boiling.
The 1 goal lead that RMM took into halftime was indeed a poor reflection of the game up until that point as the veterans were in full control with Mat Burit spurning a few more gilt edged chances.
The second half however proved to be a more even contest as RMMs played became disjointed due to the unusually large number of substitutions.
RMMs second half shot stopper, Speedy was called into action on several occasions early on and even managed to pull off a convincing save that Shark totally messed up last week.
With Speedy looking unusually rock steady between the post, RMM started to look dangerous again upfront. Guvnor came close to stretching RMMs lead with a diving header that went just wide.
RMMs persistence finally paid off when Blindman Poon embarked on one of his blinding runs on the left flank. Leaving 3 CV defenders on their arses despite their best efforts to hack his spindly legs off, the legally blind winger's sonar system was in full working order as he located with pin point accuracy the lurking Hardman Joe at the edge of the CV box. The now reformed but still hard Hardman then cooly slotted the ball home for a 2 goal RMM lead.
At this point, many RMMers were hoping that the floodgates will open for another high scoring encounter but CV refused to fold and hung in there. When the opportunity came, the CV's dead ball proponents showed that they had done their homework on Speedy by punting all sorts of shots at the giant.
That paid off finally for CV when they punted a 40 yard freekick directly into the middle of the RMM goal. Quick to react, Speedy ran past his left hand post to leap like a salmon before executing an air-kick to complete the motion. As the ball was bouncing into the net in the middle of the goal, Speedy's position was dubious to say the least.
With a comical consolation goal in their pocket, CV tried to mount a fightback but were lucky to escape further punishment from RMM when the twin turbo terrors of Flash That and Blundman Poon bore down towards the CV goal at top speed only for the Blindman to finish just wide.
The game ended at 2-1, which also ended the high scoring streak RMM has had over the past few months. The game however will be best remembered for Speedy's one man stand up comedy show.
Date: 18 July 2010
Venue: Padang Cochrane
Scorers: Batigol, Hardman Joe
Thursday, July 15, 2010
RMM 3 Cum In My Boxers 6
CRASH AND BURN
RMMs fine run of results finally came to a grinding halt as the veterans got unstuck on a soggy pitch in a hot balmy afternoon.
RMMs first choice stand-in keeper, Shark, found out exactly how thin a line it is between being a hero and a zero in the first half in 2 separate incidents that resulted in Cum In My Boxers (CIMB) goals.
In the first incident, the RMM defense had half cleared a corner when a CIMB midfielder sent a daisy cutter back towards the RMM goal from outside the box. Shark just barely managed to parry the shot but unfortunately for RMM, the rebound fell straight into the path of a straying CIMB striker who easily stroked the ball home. Even worse for RMM, the striker would have been in an offside position had the sleepwalking Speedy not played him onside.
Things then got worse for Shark when another CIMB striker smashed in a shot from distance. The giant keeper had initially parried the ball but had to watch in horror as the ball stopped in mid air, then bounced on the line into the net. A mid air Rob Green moment.
If it wasn’t for the sleepwalking Speedy and an unfortunate bounce, the RMM keeper may have been hailed for the saves but it just wasn’t his day…
Whilst RMM ended the half 2 goals down, the game was by no means 1 way traffic as the veterans had come close several times in the half, with Mat Burit coming closest with a header that was stopped on the line by the CIMB keeper.
With the halftime talk all about trying to get an early goal in order to put some pressure back on the CIMB players, it was no wonder that the wily veterans of RMM came flying out of the blocks.
Within minutes of the re-start, RMM had pulled 1 back when Mat Burit curled a shot from the edge of the CIMB box into the top corner. 2-1 and it was game on.
RMM then could have pulled another back when some good interplay between Mat Burit and Shark who had been released to play upfront resulted in a 1 on 1 situation with the twin strikers facing a intimidated CIMB keeper. Unfortunately for the twin terrors, Mat Butit was adjudged to have committed a foul in the build up.
RMMs second was not long in coming though as the marauding Flash That then equalized when he ran a good 30 yards with the ball and smashed home from almost point blank past a shell shocked CIMB keeper.
Mentally scarred for life, the CIMB keeper was then replaced.
The replacement CIMB keeper then showed his mettle when he managed to parry Shark’s header to safety after some great work from Blindman Poon on the left.
CIMB then pulled ahead again when making the score 3-2 when RMMs poor play out of defence left the central defenders stranded as CIMB’s speedy forwards easily made their way into the RMM box to score.
The RMM defence was caught out again for CIMBs fourth. RMMs second choice keeper, Speedy - the Master Of His Own Alternate Universe, displayed his exceptional positional sense by mirroring the CIMB striker’s run and leaving the entire left side of his goal wide open. The CIMB striker sent Speedy a Thank You card before easily converting.
RMMs Partyman Eddie then gave the veterans a glimmer of hope when he rose high above the rest to power in a header from Iceman’s corner kick.
With the score at 4-3, RMM committed too many forward in the pursuit for the elusive equalizer and conceded a 5th when CIMBs burly Chinaman striker took advantage of wide empty spaces to power home from the edge of RMMs box.
The final nail in RMMs coffin came when Red Devil Meng tripped a CIMB striker in the RMM box after contracting Speedy’s sleepwalking disease. Needless to say, the Master Of The Alternative was not able to make his unusually large frame count in the resulting spot kick.
As the game ended at 6-3 against RMM, the veterans were left to rue what would have been if it wasn’t for Shark’s gaffes in the first half.
Date: 11 July 2010
Venue: Stadium Raja Muda
Scorers: Mat Burit, Flash That, Partyman
RMMs fine run of results finally came to a grinding halt as the veterans got unstuck on a soggy pitch in a hot balmy afternoon.
RMMs first choice stand-in keeper, Shark, found out exactly how thin a line it is between being a hero and a zero in the first half in 2 separate incidents that resulted in Cum In My Boxers (CIMB) goals.
In the first incident, the RMM defense had half cleared a corner when a CIMB midfielder sent a daisy cutter back towards the RMM goal from outside the box. Shark just barely managed to parry the shot but unfortunately for RMM, the rebound fell straight into the path of a straying CIMB striker who easily stroked the ball home. Even worse for RMM, the striker would have been in an offside position had the sleepwalking Speedy not played him onside.
Things then got worse for Shark when another CIMB striker smashed in a shot from distance. The giant keeper had initially parried the ball but had to watch in horror as the ball stopped in mid air, then bounced on the line into the net. A mid air Rob Green moment.
If it wasn’t for the sleepwalking Speedy and an unfortunate bounce, the RMM keeper may have been hailed for the saves but it just wasn’t his day…
Whilst RMM ended the half 2 goals down, the game was by no means 1 way traffic as the veterans had come close several times in the half, with Mat Burit coming closest with a header that was stopped on the line by the CIMB keeper.
With the halftime talk all about trying to get an early goal in order to put some pressure back on the CIMB players, it was no wonder that the wily veterans of RMM came flying out of the blocks.
Within minutes of the re-start, RMM had pulled 1 back when Mat Burit curled a shot from the edge of the CIMB box into the top corner. 2-1 and it was game on.
RMM then could have pulled another back when some good interplay between Mat Burit and Shark who had been released to play upfront resulted in a 1 on 1 situation with the twin strikers facing a intimidated CIMB keeper. Unfortunately for the twin terrors, Mat Butit was adjudged to have committed a foul in the build up.
RMMs second was not long in coming though as the marauding Flash That then equalized when he ran a good 30 yards with the ball and smashed home from almost point blank past a shell shocked CIMB keeper.
Mentally scarred for life, the CIMB keeper was then replaced.
The replacement CIMB keeper then showed his mettle when he managed to parry Shark’s header to safety after some great work from Blindman Poon on the left.
CIMB then pulled ahead again when making the score 3-2 when RMMs poor play out of defence left the central defenders stranded as CIMB’s speedy forwards easily made their way into the RMM box to score.
The RMM defence was caught out again for CIMBs fourth. RMMs second choice keeper, Speedy - the Master Of His Own Alternate Universe, displayed his exceptional positional sense by mirroring the CIMB striker’s run and leaving the entire left side of his goal wide open. The CIMB striker sent Speedy a Thank You card before easily converting.
RMMs Partyman Eddie then gave the veterans a glimmer of hope when he rose high above the rest to power in a header from Iceman’s corner kick.
With the score at 4-3, RMM committed too many forward in the pursuit for the elusive equalizer and conceded a 5th when CIMBs burly Chinaman striker took advantage of wide empty spaces to power home from the edge of RMMs box.
The final nail in RMMs coffin came when Red Devil Meng tripped a CIMB striker in the RMM box after contracting Speedy’s sleepwalking disease. Needless to say, the Master Of The Alternative was not able to make his unusually large frame count in the resulting spot kick.
As the game ended at 6-3 against RMM, the veterans were left to rue what would have been if it wasn’t for Shark’s gaffes in the first half.
Date: 11 July 2010
Venue: Stadium Raja Muda
Scorers: Mat Burit, Flash That, Partyman
Friday, July 9, 2010
RMM 5 Red Indians 2
Another Demolition Job
Coming off a string of excellent results, the veterans of RMM were looking to continue their good form in this clash against the unknown Red Indians (RI).
However, given RMMs poor track record against teams of Indian descent, RMMs 2 fans in attendance had anticipated that the wily veterans would struggle to keep their recent unbeaten streak intact.
The on form RMMers then showed that this was not the case as they controlled the game early on. The midfielders and strikers were guilty of missing some gilt edged chances during the first period of play before Mat Burit popped up to score a rare header from an excellent Blindman Poon cross from the left.
RMM continued to dictate play with Blindman Poon creating havoc on the left with his devastating speed. The veterans then had a chance to stretch their lead when Guvnor's freekick from 45 yards out smack the RI crossbar.
Against the run of play, RI scored when Red Devil Meng wandered too far up on the left, leaving a huge gap for RI to exploit. Despite his best efforts, Titan could not cover the gap and that left the RI winger plenty of time to roll a cross across the RMM goal into a grateful team mate to sweep the ball home from 6 yards out.
If anyone thought that RI would then go on to build on that, they were mistaken. RMM almost immediately restored it's 1 goal advantage and what a goal it was.
Still seething from his earlier strike against the RI crossbar, Guvnor then smashed home a forty yarder with his left foot instead. Top corner, leaving the RI keeper with little to do but watch.
Partyman Eddie then added a 3rd for RMM in the dying seconds of the 1st half when he cheekily lobbed the ball over the onrushing RI keeper after receiving a hopeful punt of a through ball from Speedy.
The Master Of The Universe then took up his regular spot in goal for the 2nd half, giving Shark the opportunity to join in the RMM rampant attacks.
Mat Burit then doubled his personal tally when he scored his second off Guvnor's through pass, giving RMM a 4-1 lead.
Dead and buried, RI then managed another consolation goal when their striker's looping header beat the stranded Speedy whom one can tell was already thinking of excuses whilst the ball was looping over his head in slow motion.
RMM then showed everyone who was watching how the game should be played when Guvnor also double his tally after finishing off a move that involved a superb series of passes and crosses to end the game @ 5-2.
With resident superstars Batigol and Flash That missing from this game and without a consistent lineup upfrint, the veterans seems to have mastered the art of scoring goals from all angles with everyone weighing in with their fair share.
Date: 4 July 2010
Venue: Stadium Raja Muda
Scorers: Mat Burit x 2, Guvnor x 2, Partyman Eddie
Coming off a string of excellent results, the veterans of RMM were looking to continue their good form in this clash against the unknown Red Indians (RI).
However, given RMMs poor track record against teams of Indian descent, RMMs 2 fans in attendance had anticipated that the wily veterans would struggle to keep their recent unbeaten streak intact.
The on form RMMers then showed that this was not the case as they controlled the game early on. The midfielders and strikers were guilty of missing some gilt edged chances during the first period of play before Mat Burit popped up to score a rare header from an excellent Blindman Poon cross from the left.
RMM continued to dictate play with Blindman Poon creating havoc on the left with his devastating speed. The veterans then had a chance to stretch their lead when Guvnor's freekick from 45 yards out smack the RI crossbar.
Against the run of play, RI scored when Red Devil Meng wandered too far up on the left, leaving a huge gap for RI to exploit. Despite his best efforts, Titan could not cover the gap and that left the RI winger plenty of time to roll a cross across the RMM goal into a grateful team mate to sweep the ball home from 6 yards out.
If anyone thought that RI would then go on to build on that, they were mistaken. RMM almost immediately restored it's 1 goal advantage and what a goal it was.
Still seething from his earlier strike against the RI crossbar, Guvnor then smashed home a forty yarder with his left foot instead. Top corner, leaving the RI keeper with little to do but watch.
Partyman Eddie then added a 3rd for RMM in the dying seconds of the 1st half when he cheekily lobbed the ball over the onrushing RI keeper after receiving a hopeful punt of a through ball from Speedy.
The Master Of The Universe then took up his regular spot in goal for the 2nd half, giving Shark the opportunity to join in the RMM rampant attacks.
Mat Burit then doubled his personal tally when he scored his second off Guvnor's through pass, giving RMM a 4-1 lead.
Dead and buried, RI then managed another consolation goal when their striker's looping header beat the stranded Speedy whom one can tell was already thinking of excuses whilst the ball was looping over his head in slow motion.
RMM then showed everyone who was watching how the game should be played when Guvnor also double his tally after finishing off a move that involved a superb series of passes and crosses to end the game @ 5-2.
With resident superstars Batigol and Flash That missing from this game and without a consistent lineup upfrint, the veterans seems to have mastered the art of scoring goals from all angles with everyone weighing in with their fair share.
Date: 4 July 2010
Venue: Stadium Raja Muda
Scorers: Mat Burit x 2, Guvnor x 2, Partyman Eddie
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