RMM 4 Rojak FC 1

Mid Afternoon Stroll

Mid afternoon games on the huge, energy sapping Stadium Raja Muda pitch can be a daunting task for most team and it has proven to be so many times in the past for the veterans of RMM.

However, against the arguably skillful but disorganized Rojak FC, RMM had no problems and strolled to a comfortable victory under the unforgiving egg frying sun.

The experienced veterans took an early lead in the opening minutes when Blindman Poon’s sonar system picked up on the Rojak FC defender’s nervousness (via his pounding heart). The legally blind winger then took advantage of the situation by dispossessing the unfortunate defender before lashing home from close range.

The rest of RMM however, took some time to warm up their creaking joints in the baking heat and were lucky not to have conceded the equalizer minutes later when the lethargic backline led by SiYeh unwittingly let Rojak FCs plodding Kwailo striker beat the offside trap. Surprised to be through on goal with hardly any resistance, the Kwailo was then foiled by the onrushing first choice stand-in keeper Shark.

RMMs second came courtesy of Iceman’s laser guided freekick from the right side of Rojak FCs goal. Having had a sighter earlier, the deadball specialist made no mistake with his attempt to give RMM a 2 goal lead.

Rojak FC were restricted to taking potshots from outside the box most of the half. They did however have a gilt edged chance late in the 1st half when their 4 eyed winger turned RMMs Snake inside out before unleashing a cross that fortuitously curled towards RMM goal instead. It took Shark’s entire giant 164cm frame to keep that attempt out.

RMM controlled the second half much like the first and were 3 goals ahead when from another set piece. This time, the robust Batigol overpowered everyone in the box in to power home from close range during a goalmouth melee resulting from a corner.

Fans were then treated to the comical sight of the scrawny Rojak FC goalkeeper charging out from his box to confront the huge assed (literally speaking) Batigol whom he claimed had impeded him.

Not contented with sitting back (or more likely not knowing how to sit back and defend a lead), the wily veterans then turned the game into a route with a 4th. The veteran of all veterans, Red Devil Meng went on a lung bursting run from his rightback position, played a 1-2 with Shark (who played upfront in the second half) at the edge of Rojak FCs box before smashing the ball home.

To enliven the game further, RMMs 16th choice stand-in keeper Singapore Sling Danny then decided to emulate RMMs infamous stand-in keeper, Speedy’s antics.

First, Singapore Sling Danny completely missed a hopeful punt forward from Rojak FCs midfielders and air-kicked his attempted clearance, leaving the Rojak FCs striker to roll the ball home.

Singapore Sling Danny then decided to re-live the moment again and almost let in an identical goal only to see Rojak FCs Eujin hit the post with his attempt.

The referee decided to put Singapore Sling out of his misery and ended the game not long after, giving RMM an easy 4-1 afternoon stroll.

Venue: Stadium Raja Muda

Starting 11: Shark, SiYeh, Partyman Eddie, Snake, Red Devil Meng, Guvnor, Iceman, Blindman Poon, Speedy, Batigol, Mat Burit

Subs: Singapore Sling Danny, Trialist M

Scorere: Blindman Poon, Iceman, Batigol, Red Devil Meng