RMM 9 PJ Chung Hwa 0

To usher in the Chinese New Year, RMM hastily arranged this tie with PJ Chung Hwa, old friends and rivals from way back when RMM were in it's infancy, for the sake of tradition.

Summoning their players out of semi retirement, the PJ Chung Hwa (PJCH) boys were hoping for a positive result to end the year of the Ox and to help usher in the Tiger.

Early signs were not at all positive for PJCH as the players that turned up were far from fit and in worn out footwear. Their lack of numbers also meant that PJCH had to loan 2 RMMers to make 11 as well.

To even the game up, Guvnor decided to play an adventurous 3-4-2 (+1 somewhere on the right) formation.

In order to make the game even more exciting, Guvnor decided that RMMs own suicidal defender, Speedy stayed at the back to assist the PJCH strike force. The task of covering up for him fell to SiYeh and Red Devil Meng. Utility man Shark once again started in goal.

In the middle, Gunvor and Iceman ran the engine room again whilst RMMs speedsters Blindman Poon and Flash That patrolled the flanks.

Upfront, was the little and very large combination of Mat Burit and Batigol.

To complete the 11, Walkabout Snake was given the freedom of the right flank to roam as he pleased.

Singapore Slinger Danny and Zig Zack were loaned out to PJFC to both even up the numbers and to ensure more playing time for both players.

To remind everyone of last weeks nightmarish start, Iceman decided to 'do a Speedy' right at kick off by laying a hospital ball to Siyeh (who incidently is not the slowest on the pitch this week!). Fortunately for RMM, Siyeh managed to scramble the ball away and in the resulting quick counter attack, the little and very large combination worked well to fashion an opening goal for RMMs superstar striker, Batigol. 1 - 0 in the first few minutes.

With an early goal in the pocket, RMM could afford to play patiently and passed the ball around before the opportunity for a second came when a PJCH defender crudely brought down a rampaging Flash That in the PJCH box.

The spotkick duty was given to Walkabout Snake to help him open his 2010 account. Unfortunately for the wandering serpent, his penalty had plenty of power but no absolutely precision. Such was the ferocity of his shot, that had this game been played in the Wangsa Maju pitch, the ball would not have landed on the MRR2, but the DUKE highway instead.

In the meantime, Singaporean Sling Danny found out what it was like to man mark the legally blind Blindman Poon. Operating on sonar alone, the blindman's pace was too hot for Singaporean Sling Danny to handle early on as the part time Singaporean ended up on his arse on the first occasion he had to defend.

RMM second goal duly came when Mat Burit bagged his first of the evening following some patient play from RMM.

The 3rd goal arrived not long after as a clever turn in the box by Guvnor was met by another agricultural challenge by another PJCH defender, resulting in a second penalty. This time, Shark was given the opportunity to open his 2010 accounts. Sprinting up from his own box, the stand in keeper duly obliged by stroking the ball down the middle past a surprised PJCH keeper who had expected another cannonball shot.

RMM then ended the half with a 4th. Breaking up a rare PJCH corner, Guvnor sprinted the length of the field whilst Flash That and Iceman exchanged quick passes before the ice cool Iceman floated in a beautiful cross for the energetic Guvnor to finish with a sliding left footed volley. The flowing move would have sent shivers down the spine of Arsene Wenger if he had watched the footage. RMM too had the key to breaking down Arsene's Arse team.

The halftime whistle coudn't have come sooner for the shell shocked and half fit PJCH boys.

The pressure of missing the spot kick got to Snake as he complained to having palpatations during the break. Fearing for his life, the serpent volunteered to keep goal for the second half. This led to Shark being reshuffled to partner Mat Burit upfront and Batigol moving back to central defense.

The move almost immediately paid off as Shark got his second of the day from RMMs 1st corner of the second half. A short pass from the Blindman almost put Iceman under immediate pressure. The midfield maestro managed to roll the ball into the path of the waiting Shark who then proceeded to ram home a rare goal from outside the box.

Shark then made it a hat-trick when a defensive mix up led by loanee Zig Zack resulted in the ball dropping at the once feared fox-in-the-box's feet. Rolling back the years, Shark obliged by smashing the ball home from 8 yards out to make it 6-0 for RMM.

The rampant Shark then bundled in for what would have been his fourth from 3 yards out after receiving a beautifully weighted low cross from Flash That on the left. Unfortunately for the on form hitman, the referee disallowed the goal, claiming a handball.

There was no let off for PJCH as RMM continued with it's free scoring antics. Off some more great work from Blindman Poon, Guvnor thumped in a unstopable header for his second of the day.

7-0 then became 8-0 when Flash That decided to get in the scoring act by blazing past 4 static PJCH defenders before powerfully finishing off the move himself in a stunning solo run.

On the other end, on a rare PJCH attack, Snake's palpations stopped long enough for the burly serpent to 'make himself big' and close off all angles to ensure that the PJCH stiker had no line of sight towards the RMM goal.

Mat Burit then missed a couple of chances to add to his tally through a combination of wayward finishing and selfish runs by strike partner Shark, who by then had dropped off to the right.

The chrome domed hitman finally got his second when another low drive by the rampaging Flash That found him right inside the PJCHs box. The rotund striker needed no second invitation and thumped the ball home.

PJCHs nearly broke the duck in one of their final attacks when a speculative shot from distance bounced right in front of stand in keeper Snake. The bounced caught the serpent by surprise but he was still alert enough to pull of an unconventional save, using his bulging waistline to alter the course of the goal bound shot.

There was an audible sigh of relief from PJCH when the final whistle was blown. a 9-0 thumping was not what they had envisioned and it would have been double figures if not for a few glaring misses from RMM.

Whilst RMMers would hope that the result will be a fair reflection of the year ahead, it also was a reflection of how far RMM has gone as a team. Almost 19 years of football has been clocked in by the veterans and yet, the team remains as competitive as ever. Sticking with the nostalagic feel of the day, ex RMMer,Gnasher Abdullah was also spotted in the crowd.

Venue: Stadium Raja Muda

Starting Line Up: Shark, Red Devil Meng, SiYeh, Snake, Speedy, Blindman Poon, Guvnor, Iceman, Flash That, Batigol, Mat Burit

Subs: None

Loanees: Singaporean Sling Danny, Zig Zack

Scorers: Batigol, Flash That, Mat Burit (x2), Guvnor (x2), Shark (x3)