RMM 4 Holanchai FC 2

It was the first game of the year for RMM but the evergreen veterans carried with them not only their form from last year but also their fire as well.

Once the bogey ground for RMM, the vast pitch of the Stadium Raja Muda is fast becoming a happy hunting ground for the wily veterans. The early signs were not good though as RMM only had 2 subs available as back up on this energy sapping pitch. To make matters worse, all of RMM speedsters were also missing for this tie.

RMM however were quick off the mark and drew first blood in the match when Superstar Batigol burst into the penalty box like a wild elephant only to be brought down by a brave Holanchai FC (HFC) defender. The foul occurred deep inside the HFC box but RMM were only awarded a freekick outside the box and the offending HFC defender was only shown a yellow card.

The 4th official explained later that FIFA had passed a new ruling stating that penalties and red cards are not applicable for fouls in the box for friendly games.

Nevertheless, the Ice cool Iceman stepped up and duly curled the ensuing freekick into the top right hand corner of HFC's goal.

HFC soon got into the game and tested Shark with some deep crosses that were easily dealt with by the giant keeper.

The closest HFC came to scoring was from a direct freekick outside the RMM box that was smartly parried away by the diving giant keeper.

Given the size of the pitch and the number of ageing players available for the game, RMMs best chance of getting a result was through set pieces and solid defending.

The first half ended with the score at 1-0 and RMM were looking comfortable. Much would depend on the fitness level of the veterans in the second half.

Against the odds, the wily veterans 2-0 up not long after the re-start. Off Iceman’s corner, RMMs King Of Headers, Guvnor powered home a free header after peeling off to lose his marker header. Not the tallest of players, Guvnor’s uncanny ability to score from headers has always been a rich source of goals for RMM.

RMM then went further ahead when the still improving SiYeh, flighted in a pinpoint through ball into the path of the onrushing Batigol. Tackling a charging bull elephant from behind was 1 thing, but stopping one head on was an entirely different matter. With the keeper frozen in fear, RMMs playboy superstar easily lobbed the ball into HFCs goal.

RMM were turning on the style and with the score at 3-0, many had thought that the game was over as a contest.

That could not be further from the truth as RMM decided to make things more interesting.

Hardman Joe decided to carry on from where he left off last year and collected a yellow card before proceeding to floor a HFC player whilst defending a corner.

The resulting penalty was easily slotted home by HFCs Big Tall Basterd. Shark had guessed the correct side to throw himself to but was too slow and ruptured his spleen after landing hard on his side.

Guvnor then tried to calm things down by trying to substitute the seething Hardman Joe and bringing in the limping Partyman Eddie.

Unfortunately for all parties involved, the full time party organizer had bandaged his injured limbs too tightly and it resulted in him losing feel of all bodily functions below his waist.

Whilst everyone waited for some blood to rush back into the areas below Partyman’s waist, blood had rushed to Hardman Joe’s head as the Fight Club President Of Malaysia decided to take a huge chunk out of Big Tall Basterd’s shin, earning him a second yellow.

That left the tiring veterans down to 10 men with a 2 goal lead.

Sensing the momentum shifting, HFC mounted a late assault and the lead was cut down to one minutes later. A HFC striker dribbled his way into the penalty box and left 2 tiring RMM defenders for dead before slotting home. The super fit Nitro was left prone on the ground with cramps on both legs in the aftermath.

With the score at 3-2, the team tiring and on a huge pitch, one would expect RMM to pack the defense in a bid to defend the 1 goal lead. This was however not the case as RMM continued to try to counter attack, leaving the tiring attackers way upfield, exposing the brittle defense.

HFC then came close to equalizing when their right winger easily ran past a tired RMM defense out wide before horribly slicing his intended cross towards the RMM goal. Expecting a cross, Shark was caught out of position and had to use his entire giant 5’4” frame to palm the ball away before Zig Zack cleared.

RMM finally killed the game off when Iceman’s pin point set piece hit Partyman Eddie, who finally had blood flowing back to his nether region, on the head into the HFC goal.

That proved to be the last act of the game as the match officially blew the final whistle immediately after the goal.

Venue: Stadium Raja Muda

Starting line up: Shark, Aeroplane King Beng Koh, Titan, Red Devil Meng, Nitro, Guvnor, Iceman, Hardman Joe, Partyman Eddie, Batigol, Mat Burit

Subs: Siyeh, Zig Zack

Scorers: Iceman, Guvnor, Batigol, Partyman Eddie