RMM 5 Sunday Boys FC 2

Still reeling from the nightmare of a football pitch last week, Guvnor exercised his influence over the Maniam League to ensure that this week’s fixture will be contested on a pitch befitting RMMs very high standards.

The result was a game for RMM @ Uniten, Bangi.

The long drive did not deter the RMMers who came from all corners of the Klang Valley. The long drive did however wreck havoc on RMMs game plan and game preparation as some key members of the team arrived just minutes before kick off.

Although not fined for their tardiness, some of the latecomers were indirectly punished when they were forced to hurriedly get kitted up and started the game without having time for warm ups or even a toilet break. Playing a full half with a full bladder is surely a bigger deterrent than any monetary fine.

Guvnor was also forced into fielding Speedy in goal for the start of the game as Shark was one of the full bladdered players who arrived late.

Helping protect Speedy was Danny and Siyeh in the middle with Zach and Snake completing the quartet on the flanks. Not exactly a makeshift backline but it has to be said, not the strongest either.

In the middle of the park, Shark was paired in an unfamiliar midfield role with Guvnor.

Without Guvnor and Iceman to set up the team formation, Blindman Poon, Mat Burit, Flash That and Batigol all took it upon themselves to start upfront.

The sunny afternoon coupled by the pristine pitch and attacking formation provided RMM with the perfect opportunity to display their full flowing football that Arsene Wenger lives for.

This however wasn’t to be as the 2 players entrusted to run the engine room huffed and puffed for the first quarter of the game. The fact that both had not warmed up and carried full bladders did not help the cause either.

Shark trying out as a midfield enforcer

RMM however did get going once the engine room warmed up and started to string a few passes together. With Flash That and Blindman Poon speed, Mat Burit’s guile and Batigol’s power, the front 4 were proving to be a handful. At the back, Speedy’s reassuring ball handling skills calmed the defense.

Speedy was wondering where the arrows on his bowling lanes went

After some initial probing, RMM won a freekick in a dangerous position on the right side of Sunday Boys FCs goal. With regular freekick taker Iceman on the sidelines, Shark took the freekick duties.

Spotting an unmarked Mat Burit at the edge of the box, Shark cleverly rolled the ball towards him. With acres of space and hours to spare, the bald and rotund striker looked up, picked a spot and floated an inviting cross into the danger area. Out of nowhere came the towering Zack who managed to out jump the entire Sunday Boys FCs defense before nodding home for his first goal of the season.

A collectors item - Zack's goal

Minutes later the ever dangerous Batigol had the opportunity to double RMMs lead when he was put through by Shark’s delicately floated thru pass. One on one with the keeper, the usually brave and strong superstar striker bottled it and finished off with a feeble attempt that rolled pass the keeper before going harmlessly out of play.

As the half wore on, Zack’s lack of match fitness started to show. Forced into another reshuffle, Guvnor brought in Iceman to re-new their weekly partnership. Shark was called upon cover Zack’s leftback position instead.

Shark was almost immediately called into action when Sunday Boys FC mounted a surprise that caught most of the RMM defense cold. As the Sunday Boy FC striker burst thru on goal, Shark came in from the blind side screaming like a banshee before sliding in as a last ditch effort to stop the striker. It worked as the striker was dispossessed and Siyeh recovered back in time to clean up.

With Iceman back with Guvnor in the middle, RMM tightened it’s grip on the game but as with the previous week’s game, was unable to make the chances count.

Guvnor was not too pleased and the halftime talk was terse.

Shark started the 2nd half back in goal and Speedy was placed on what was supposed to be the left midfield position. But as the game progressed, the Master Of The Alternate Universe ended up playing almost exclusively as a striker, much like his team mate on the opposite flank. Blindman Poon.

The reshuffle worked as RMM scored a second goal minutes after the restart. A corner by Iceman from the right was overhit and the ever reliable Pseedy managed to recover the ball and just as everyone expected him to float a cross back into goal, the devious veteran saw a gap in the crowded box and decided to curl one in through the eye of the needle.

It worked as the miracle shot deceived everyone (including Speedy one would think) and bounced into the back of the net. 2 nil up and RMMers breathe a sigh of relief.

Speedy finally found his lines and his tricky hook bowl fooled everyone

Speedy was on fire by now and nearly added an assist to his afternoon’s work when his beautifully measured cross was met by an onrushing Guvnor. Normally deadly from this type of opportunity, RMM’s life time President got it wrong this time and sent his header wide.

RMMs afternoon got better as a rampant Blindman Poon wrecked havoc on the right before sending a low cross into the box. A retreating Sunday Boys FC defender managed to get his foot onto the ball but only managed to skew it high into the air towards the far post. The lurking Mat Burit gleefully finished off the move by volleying home from 6 yards.

With a 3 goal cushion, some RMM players got over confident and started to lose their way a little. Instead of cheering when the 3rd goal went in, Shark was overheard groaning loudly complaining about having yet another boring afternoon.

The giant keeper’s fear proved unfounded as his backline conspired to give him a busy afternoon. Siyeh decided that back passes to the keeper’s weaker left foot would be a good way to combat his boredom and proceeded to execute that diligently for the rest of the afternoon.

In one such instance, the villains of the week, Siyeh and Shark just managed to scramble the ball wide to Snake before the round reptile managed to clear the ball towards Iceman. Unfortunately for RMM, the pass was a bit short and Iceman was beaten to the clearance by a Sunday Boys FC midfielder. With only his second touch, the midfielder managed blistering shot 25 yards out to catch Shark totally out of position. 3 – 1 and Sunday Boys FC had a whiff of some RMM blood.

The warning signs were already there as just minutes earlier, Shark had been forced to punch clear a cross surrounded by 3 Sunday Boys FC players with not a defender in sight to protect him.

Not pleased by the sudden drop in concentration, Guvnor tore into the lackluster defense and demanded for an improved display.

Guvnor's reassuring voice was calming influence to his team mates

The team then got their act together by restoring their 3 goal lead through Mat Burit’s second of the day. Played through beautifully by Iceman’s pin point through ball, the rotund hitman managed to beat the onrushing Sunday Boys FC keeper with a measure lob from outside the box.

Mat Burit's aerodynamic dome's advantage was there for all to see

4-1 to RMM. The second half was proving to be an entertaining spectacle for the spectators.

The crowd hardly had time to catch their breadth when yet another goal was scored. This time, off a freekick from a dangerous central position in front of the RMM box, a Sunday Boys FC players managed to beat the unsighted Shark with what the undersized keeper claimed to be a Ronaldoesque freekick.

Plucking coconuts was never a career option for Shark

Cue more shouting and finger pointing amongst RMMers. Given that the goalkeeping position in RMM is one that is either volunteered or forced, it is an unwritten rule that the goalkeepers are exempt from any direct criticism. Hence, Shark was thankful for the let off.

The RMM keeper then atoned for the 2 goals when his measured drop goalkick deceptively bounced over a Sunday Boys FC defender, forcing him to back pedal into the powerful Batigol. Easily overpowering the Boys FC defender, RMMs resident Superstar played the ball across to the onrushing Flash That to power home.

Sunday Boys FCs keeper proved to be just as inept as Shark in plucking coconuts

With the score at 5-2 to RMM, and one can be forgiven for thinking that the game was over as a spectacle and both teams will just wind down the clock.

Fortunately for the paying public, that wasn’t the case and there was 1 final act of entertainment left in the game.

That final act came minutes after RMMs fifth goal when Danny, who had earlier exchanged some unpleasant words with Sunday Boys FCs Bruno over the Sunday Boys FC player’s loud and open wish to have his way with RMM players. Not pleased by Bruno’s attitude and openness, Danny chided the Sunday Boys FCs player’s promiscuity. Bruno in turn offered to have his way with Danny as well.

The seething Danny then took his frustration out on Bruno by when the opportunity came. With both players going for what looked like a 50-50 ball, Danny took Bruno out from behind. Not used to being taken from behind, Bruno reacted angrily by shoving Danny like a little girl.

What happened next took everyone by surprise. Snake who had been coiled for action all along then launched a lighting strike from nowhere to mount Bruno from behind again. Although that mount was unsuccessful, the power of that attempted mount sent Bruno crashing to the ground. Although his wish for man love from RMMers may have been granted, it may not have been the type he was lusting for.

That in turn set of a sequence of events best described in an earlier blog entry (complete with pixs). The end result was 2 red cards for RMM. 1 for Snake for his failed mount and 1 for Superstar Batigol for being himself. Sunday Boys FCs Bruno was also given the marching orders for soliciting fellow players on the pitch, a practice frowned upon by footballers around the world.

The match official then ended the game after a few tokens minutes of the re-start. In an incident packed game, RMM again ran out winners with a 5-2 win.

Although it was another big win for RMM, Guvnor’s mood was no better that last week’s slim win as he bemoaned the team’s lack of concentration during several phases of the game.

With another big victory, RMM should be near the top of Maniam's mysterious table....