RMM 3 Hangover FC 5

Coming into this fixture brimming with confidence from a run of good results, RMM were brought down to earth with a thud.

The omens were not good from the moment the venue was announced. RMMs record at the Stadium Raja Muda has been dismal to say the least. This was most likely attributed to the fact that the large pitch was maybe just a tad too big for RMMs ageing legs to cover for 90 minutes.

That record didn’t look like it was going to improve when RMM was drawn to play Hangover FC, a team who has a knack of fielding African and National Futsal players.

To top it off, RMMs were also missing their resident speedsters, Flash That and Blindman Poon. Hardman Joe who has quite a few gears in him as well also missed the game.

RMM started the game with a similar line up to last week with Shark in goal and SiYeh and Aeroplane King Beng Koh covering the center of defence. Snake and Meng were in their familiar positions on the right and left respectively

In the middle of the park, Guvnor and Iceman controlled the traffic with Speedy and Foo providing the speed and guile on the flanks.

Upfront, Superstar Batigol was back leading the line with RMMs Party Organizer, DeafMan Wai who was making his comeback from a life threatening knee injury as support.

Things started off brightly for RMM when Foo and Superstar Batigol combined well to give give RMM a shock lead after a tentative start for both teams.

However, instead of building or consolidating the lead, RMM then capitulated in a 10 minute spell when Hangover FC scored 3 goals in their first 3 attacks.

All 3 goals were the direct results of RMM being caught time and again defending too high up and Shark conceded goals from first the right, then the middle before finally the left side of his post. The second was particularly painful to watch as Hangover FCs playmaker practically walked the ball into the net right from the heart of defense.

Like a punch drunk boxer, RMM was swaying and looked like conceding every time Hangover FC attacked for the next 20mins.

Having weathered that storm, RMM then showed character and managed to pull one back when Snake’s 40 yard screamer off a Hangover corner clearance that nearly tore a hole in the net. Replays later showed that the goal was actually a hopeful punt from distance that bounced over a surprised Hangover keeper.

It didn’t matter as RMM were once again back in the game. Building on that, RMM played with more confidence and minutes before halftime. RMM had a perfect opportunity to draw the game level when sub Mat Burit was put clean through by Superstar Batigol. Probably due to his weakened state from fasting, Mat Burit rolled his ball towards the corner flag instead.

RMM then ended the half in farcical manner when the 2 animals, Shark and Snake got into a shouting match regarding the legless reptile’s lack of positioning play.

The second half started in the same farcical manner when Shark refused to don his gloves for the second half. Guvnor was then forced to re-shuffle the team and the unconventional but entertaining Speedy was once again appointed as RMMs second half keeper with Shark filling in at left back.

Having learned their lessons from the 1st half, RMMs backline decided to defend deeper into their own half in order not to be caught out by Hangover’s pacey forwards. Whilst this meant that offside traps were obsolete, the tactic seemed to work as Speedy had a much quieter second half in goal.

This may also have been attributed to the fact that the clever oompa loompa tried another new goalkeeping trick to throw his opponents off their game. This time, the Master Of The Alternate Universe decided to wear his gloves inside out to confuse his opponents.

The clever ploy worked well until Snake decided to show everyone that he is a reptile with hands by punching a goal bound shot away when defending a corner. Would Speedy with his lighting quick reflexes have been able to save that shot? We’ll never know.

What we know was that Snake was then sent off for his troubles and Speedy’s lighting quick reflexes did not extend to penalty saves. 4 – 2 and a man down. The game looked all but over for RMM on this cursed ground.

With nothing to lose, Guvnor then threw caution to the wind and ordered Shark upfront, playing an adventurous 3-3-3 formation.

With both teams fast tiring on the large energy sapping pitch, the game opened up with both teams attacking end to end with little regard to defending.

Hangover FC then went further ahead during one of these quick exchanges putting RMM further behind.

Undeterred, RMM matched Hangover blow for blow and managed a consolation goal when Superstar Batigol managed a sublime chip over a stranded Hangover keeper in the dying minutes.

Final score 5 – 3 to Hangover FC and there was much for RMM to reflect on after the game.

Would RMMs speedsters have made any difference? Was BengKoh’s (un)reliability now in question? When did Mat Burit come on and when did he sneak off? Why didn’t Speedy’s goalkeeping ploys work? Does Snake really have hands? How fake was the Hangover FC striker’s British accent?

So many unanswered questions…..