RMM 3 Chinese Chelsea 0

There used to be a time when fixtures against Chinese Chelsea were a guaranteed 3 points and a healthy goal difference was the norm for RMM. However, recent form and squad size has conspired to make the last 2 outings between the 2 a much closer encounter than RMM would have liked. 1 of these outing even resulted in Chinese Chelsea’s first ever win over RMM.

With this in mind, Guvnor made sure that all RMMers took this game seriously and kept their over confidence that always comes with this fixture in check. The squad size for this game was also comforting for the life time President as the team actually boasted of @ least 4 subs on the bench.
It also cushioned the absence of RMMs super star striker Batigol and the on form army of 1, Flash That.

RMM started with the familiar 4-4-2 formation with stand in keeper Shark standing in once again.

Snake took up his familiar right back position with Siyeh and Aeroplane King Beng Koh anchoring the middle of defence. Wooden Thong made a rare start on the left of defence.

The engine room was powered by Guvnor and Hardman Joe, a formidable and physically imposing pairing that can rumble with the best of them. The left and right midfield areas were occupied by the more lightweight but skillful (open to debate here) duo of Speedy and Foo respectively.

Upfront, Iceman was paired with the rotund Mat Burit who claimed to have lost weight over the last week or so.

With Guvnor and Hardman Joe in impervious form, RMM controlled the game from the opening whistle and looked comfortable throughout the first half.

Though comfortable, RMMs forward play always broke down in the final third and scoring opportunities were somewhat limited. When 1 of those opportunities came, Foo found himself in an almost identical position from where he missed last week. This time, he did not miss.

1 up and RMM were cruising. Keeper Shark had one of his quietest game in goal this season as RMM pressed Chinese Chelsea back time and again.

However, despite showing the urgency in their play, RMM were unable to find the 2nd goal to calm their nerves.

The second half brought some interesting changes, notably the pairing of RMMs once feared strikeforce, Mat Burit and Shark with Iceman moved back to his familiar middle mid position and Hardman Joe slotting in on right mid.

The switching of Hardman Joe to the right proved to be the turning point as the midfield minder (possibly the only player in RMM with a shorter fuse than superstar Batigol) started making surging runs down the flank. Blindman Poon was also introduced on the opposite flank and his speed led to some panicked defending from the Chinese Chelsea defenders.

RMM then made it 2 when the fans were treated to a glimpse of the past with Mat Burit sliding in a sly thru ball for the onrushing Shark to blast home at the near post. Not known for his shooting prowess, there was debate on whether Shark had actually meant to shoot or cross. What mattered most to the stand in keeper and part time striker was that he now has scored and kept a clean sheet 2 games in a row now.

RMMs 3rd duly arrived in few minutes later when Guvnor rose above the crowded Chinese Chelsea box and powered home a trademark header from Iceman’s corner.

With the game sewn up, RMM took the game down a notch or 2 to conserve energy in the searing heat. Beng Koh who had a near flawless game up till that point was then involved 2 of the most memorable moments in the game.

In the first incident, he went on a mazy run going past a few bemused Chinese Chelsea players before somehow ‘passing’ the ball off his own face.

In an almost dejavu moment, Beng Koh then tried to repeat his feat in RMMs first ever loss to Chinese Chelsea when he momentarily lost concentration whilst defending deep. He lost the ball to an onrushing Chinese Chelsea striker who had a free run at goal with only 2nd choice stand in keeper (and 1st choice stand up comedian) Speedy to beat.

In another astonishing psychological goalkeeping ploy, the master of the alternate universe hugged one of his goalposts to distract the oncoming striker. It worked. The dumbfounded striker shot wide.

With clever goalkeeping tricks like the reverse starfish and now the post hugging move, Speedy is fast becoming the 1st choice stand in keeper and is now ranked only 2nd to infamous Rene Higuita as one of the most entertaining goalkeepers in world football.

As the game drew to a close, RMM can now cast an eye of the other fixtures in the league and start working out the maths. 3 games, 2 wins and a draw. A decent start to the campaign indeed.