RMM 2 KUNT Team 1

Scorers: Guvnor(pen), Flash.

Squad: Shark, Red Devil Meng, Jason Yap, Siyeh, BengKoh Iceman, Guvnor, Typhoon, Speedie, Flash, Batigol, NOS Thong, Red Card Joe.

This was in truth a rematch that was scheduled too soon. Fresh from their meek surrender to RMM a few weeks back, KUNT Team reverted back to type a showed everyone why they were named like a team full of KUNTs.

With a few of their main KUNTs back in the starting line up, they started the match aggressively. On the other end, the lackadaisical attitude of RMM players meant that they failed to warm up properly and started the game way off pace. RMM were soon made to pay for it when KUNT Team's main striker BO Man was found all alone on the right by a diagonal ball. With the RMM defence asleep and keeper Shark in no man's land, BO Man easily lobbed the ball over RMMs giant keeper. 0-1 to the KUNTs.

The early goal then woke RMM and they began to put in more hard tackles to regain control in the middle of the park. The game then started turning ugly as KUNT players were unable to cope with the same aggression they had been dishing out. The moaning and verbal abuse to match officials started. The aggressive play coupled with foul language resulted in several yellow cards to both teams with Flash That and the normally cool Iceman being booked for RMM.

RMM continued to press forward looking for the equaliser and Speedie came close with a solo effort but saw his well struck shot superbly saved for a fruitless corner. The number of corner kicks continue to rise and RMM were finally rewarded when the referee spotted a KUNT player having his arms all over the superstar Batigol and immediately pointed to the spot. Batigol's acting lessons was finally paying off.

As it was the eve of Guvnor's birthday, Iceman stepped aside for him to take the spotkick. Guvnor then proceeded to stroke the ball right down the middle. An audible gasp was heard throughout the field from RMM players as KUNT Team's keeper looked like he had easily collected the ball. With most of RMM turning away expecting a goalkick, it was indeed a shock when shouts of 'Goal!' was heard. Somehow, the KUNT keeper had done a Taibi. 1 - 1 and back in the game.

KUNT team seemed happy to see out the 1st half at 1-1, but RMM had other ideas. Some slick passing at the back saw the underrated Siyeh played an inch perfect ball to Flash That, who timed his run to perfection and superbly lobbed the onrushing keeper to put RMM in front. Both the keeper and That were injured in the collision as the referee instantly blew for halftime.RMM had taken the lead but had to pay a heavy price as Flash That failed to appear for the second half.

Guvnor made some changes during halftime which also witnessed the return of Joe from his 3 match ban resulting from his sending off in the Chinese Chelsea game. Shark again lined up alongside Batigol in attack and Speedie was exiled between the posts.

Second half started with more scrappy play in the middle and RMM came close on a few occasions to add to the scoreline but again the final ball was disappointing.

Some sloppy play at the back from NOS or better known as "High" Thong nearly gifted the KUNTs an equalizer but he recovered just in time to win the ball. There was hint of some shirt grabbing by NOS which the ref failed to notice. The result was a very furious Spiky Haired striker who threw a wild punch at NOSs face. Maybe it was the fact that he's permanently stoned or maybe it's because of his Muay Thai training, NOS didn't even notice he was punched.

This was the first sign of the referees losing control of the game. As if arriving late and having one man short is not enough, this particular referee also showed that he was probably one (or maybe even 2) testicle short as well. He failed to show the Spiky Haired KUNT any cards for the punch, knowing that the KUNT player is already on a yellow.

The game then started to descent down a slippery slope as both teams started to kick lumps out of each other.The final straw came when Guvnor tried taking out Midget KUNT striker who was waltzing through the RMM defence. Despite heavy contact from Guvnor, Midget Kunt stayed on his feet and was through on goal.

For reasons only known to him, the ref blew for a foul outside the box instead. The little troll predictably lost the plot and started berating the referee in troll speak. The referee, who actually understands swear words in troll speak did not have the testicular fortitude to do anything about it. The angered troll continued swearing at the testicularly challenged referee for what seems like eternity.

The referee finally had enough of the verbal abuse and walked off sobbing like a little girl. If his mummy was there, he would have hidden behind her skirt for sure.

In one of modern day's greatest miracles, Mr cry baby ref suddenly found his missing testicles in the carpark and proceeded to challenge the angry troll to a Smackdown, WWE style. Standing behind the fencing, he hurled challenge after challenge to the Midget Kunt. The only thing missing was a micro phone, 'entrance' themed music and some pyrotechnics.

The remaining referee then decided to sensibly call off the match with the score at 2-1 in RMMs favour. In the end, whilst RMM was the official winner, there were no winners as players from both teams were deprived of a full game that they had eagerly waited for throughout the week.

If only the KUNTs were not KUNTs and the referee had a testicle.....

Report provided by Iceman and sliced and diced by Shark....