RMM 0 Chinese Chelsea 1

Match report this week courtesy of Guvnor:-

Formation: 3 – 4 – 2, then 4 – 4- 2 when we had 11, then back to 3 – 4 – 2 after Joe’s red card
Squad: Shark (keeper 1st Half, Forward 2nd Half), Jeff ‘Speedy’ Legend (left mid 1st Half, Keeper 2nd Half), Snake, Beng Koh Shaunn, Danny, Meng Red Devil (defenders) Guvnor, Giggsy, Iceman, Foo, (midfield), That (striker)

Dark Day for RMM – A soul searching moment for RMM indeed.

Cochcrane, the fortress for RMM. The venue that saw the championship won in 2007. The theatre of dreams for many a memorable wins. Well, on 7th June 2009, the venue has reduced RMM to their personal nightmare. “You never walk alone” bollocks indeed. On this dark day, we walked alone alright...............

The opponents, Chinese Chelsea, has always been the traditional whipping boys for RMM over the years. A quick check on Jeff’s past match reports reads P23, W23, F398, A2 in favour of RMM. Minus one or two goals, we’ve lost count. That is how much we have crushed this team in the past. It was with this mindset that RMM walked onto the pitch, working out in our minds how we would celebrate the goal we were definitely going to score, targeting personal hat tricks and all. That was the start of RMM’s fall on this black day.

First mistake. Guvnor’s team formation reeks of over confidence. Playing a 3 man defence Shaunn, Danny,and Snake, whose combined speed rivals olympic 100m sprinter, Jessie James.......now. Central Midfield combo of Guvnor and Giggsy were more interested in scoring rather than to defending. Right winger Foo drifted in as a striker. Central midfield playmaker Iceman as target man. Jeff legend as left sided striker. Meng as Right sided striker.

2nd Mistake. Collectively we have already won the game in our minds before the game has started. This resulted in many challenges in the field not won, many positional play not attended to, expecting the ball to miraculously come to our feet. The opponents definitely wanted it more.

3rd Mistake. In another moment of madness, Giggsy lashed out at an opponent who had the temerity to nick the ball of his feet, resulting in a straight red. This changed our formation again, with Iceman pulled back to midfield and Ah That (who finally arrived) coming on as a striker. Ill discipline has reared its ugly head in RMMs camp again. Let this be a lesson to all of us, keeping a cool head in the field will invariably win us games.

4th Mistake. Although RMM had 90% possession of the ball, we failed to create many clear cut chances mainly because most of us, (and I’m holding my hand up here), were guilty of trying to score the perfect goal. I had a new pair of boots to christened as my excuse, what’s yours?

5th Mistake. The only goal from the game came from a long hopeful pun from defense, which Shaunn failed to deal with, letting it bounce over his head. The Chelsea striker then had the ball at his feet, facing Jeff Legend the keeper.

6th Mistake. Instead of rushing out to close the angle, RMM keeper for the half, Jeff Legend proceeded to crabwalk to the side of the goal, leaving the Chelsea striker with the entire goal at his mercy. As bad as they are, no player with two left feet can miss an open goal at his mercy, courtesy of the keeper. Well, this same passage of play was repeated again 10minutes later, but the Chelsea player did really have 2 left feet and he missed the open goal by hitting the post. Jeff, we need your explanation on this 2 incidence. WTF?

7th Mistake. This is an on-going perpetuating problem. Lets put a vote in. Should we go out and get ourselves a proper keeper? I’m not interested to blame any of our volunteer keepers, and I’m certainly not interested to play that position anymore. What say you? Lets hear your opinion on this.

8th Mistake. Actually, there were collectively more individual mistakes than I care to remember. Nobody came out of this game with any positives. Sorry, to say this, but we were worst than Liverpool this season........at least they drew those 7 games that they dominated. We fucking lost.

BUT, there is a silver lining here somewhere. For starters, referring to mistake number 5, Shaunn has agreed to buy a bottle this Thursday for not heading the ball. Then there is also the promise that Joe made that he’ll curb his on field temper. Also, we surely can’t collectively perform as bad as this anymore this year, so that albatross is out of the way. And we’ll get our rematch next month.

And I’m going to grab my hat trick against them Chinese Chelsea then. You can bet on it. Ha ha ha. Oops, this reeks of mistake number 2.

Looking himself in the mirror tonight, and shaking his head a tad, Guvnor Chen.

As an aside, today RMM we graced with the appearance of our 2 original WAGs.

Sorry we had to put you through this mess today girls, but Boom Jo and Nat can at least claim to be there when this watershed moment played itself out today.